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What do I do?please answer and don't bash

Me and my boyfriend were engaged but stuff happened and we were gonna lose the house so I moved into my Mom's with my kids and stepkids and my boyfriend moved in after and I said we should call off the engagement for a bit,but now me and him feel the relationship isn't working,he hasn't said this but I know he does and he's gotten my best friend pregnant and he said it was a drunken mistake but I don't believe him but I don't know what to do for the best because there are kids involved and my kids don't deserve the disruption and neither do his kids and I don't want my youngest son growing up without a father like my two daughters are having to do because I believe its important to have a parent in your life thats the same sex as you. What do I do?

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Asked by MommaandStepMom at 3:56 PM on Apr. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Leave. He can still be a parent without you two being together. That's just an excuse why he did what he did but it doesn't matter. Your friend is just as nasty as him. A friend wouldn't do that anyway. Leave em both in the dust.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • You don't have to live with him to still have him be a part of the child's life. I wouldn't live with him if it isnt' working and with what's going on. That in itself is too confusing for all the kids. Let him get his own place but you can still be active in his children's life if you want and he in your child's life. It's all good plus you'd be out of the chaos that's coming with the friend's pregnancy...You know it's coming! lol

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:59 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • I agree with anonymous at 2:59....Just start all over with out him you are staying with your mom so that's a start. Think of the kids then of yourself. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • you don't have to be married to him to have him be dad. my parents stayed married an extra 15 years "for the kids" and it did none of us any good. if you are not happy than the kids won't be either and they will see it in you as well. he is obviously not happy as well if he is having sex with another woman, drunk or not if you are commited you just don't do it. so both of you need to get out, the kids will be ok if you are mature about it and tell them it just didn't work out. its better you found out now than married with more kids in the picture

    Answer by vabchmommy at 4:03 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • ok first of all no offense but if my friend would have gotten pregnant by my husband i'd kick her butt but thats beside the fact u can just end the relationship and he can still b there 4 all of u're guys kids!he can still visit them...just because u guys are not together doesnt mean he doesnt have to be a father!just try really really hard to forget about it because thats not easy at all!

    Answer by AnaKV at 4:05 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • You two don't have to live together or be together to raise your kids together. You both can still be a part of all of their lives. Eventually your kids are going to know that your best friend and daddy had a baby together, and I personally wouldn't want my little girls growing up thinking that that was normal and that that is how women are supposed to be treated. Or let my son think that it is ok to do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • You'd rather your children have a father that slept with your bestfriend and who will be having their sibling with her than no father at all? Wow girlie, that' s not much of a choice you've given yourself. Notice I said you've given yourself. Life is full of choices you have decided that these are the only two options when there are plenty more options out there. In my opinion, ditch the loser collect child support and get yourself in therapy.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 4:58 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

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