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I'm so hurt.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I just can't get my boyfriend to understand me. Everything I say to him is perceived wrong by him and then he doesn't even try to hear me out. I have tried talking to him, we've even written lists to each other of things we like and don't like about each other and then discussed what we need the other to do. I have changed for him...I do all that I can to make him happy and he doesn't change ANYTHING. He won't do the things that I tell him I need to feel good....I want this to work so bad. We have a baby and he was my very first love, my first everything and it just hurts so bad. I want to know what I can do. I will do anything just to get him to understand me and make this work.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:09 PM on Apr. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Have you tried counseling? It may help. GL!
    dragonfly7271

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 6:15 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • As much as you want it to work, it just might not. He's your first love, and your baby's father. Sometimes relationships just run their course. You can't make him change, so you shouldn't change for him. If you guys can't grow together, there isn't much you can do. I'm sorry. I do hope you can't work things out, I don't enjoy hearing of failed relationships. But you are young, right? IF this doesn't work out, you will find someone that you won't have to change for, that you won't want to change.
    Maybe you should at least find a mediator, someone that can help him hear what you are trying to say. Maybe he just doesn't know how to listen.
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 6:20 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • How old are you?
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 6:33 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • 18
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • Sweetie, you are young and have your whole life ahead of you. I can understand that you love him and have his child. And I understand that it hurts very badly. Some people can change - some cant. Sounds like he has some growing up to do. You cant make him understand, and you cant make him change. The only person that can do that is him.
    dragonfly7271

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 6:44 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • I just don't know what to do. I'm so miserable. I'm crying all the time...my heart feels like...I don't know like it's gonna blow up. My belly hurts all the time and I'm pregnant...and he doesn't care! He still continues to hurt me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:48 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • This is not good for the baby or you. Please try to calm down and think about your child. I know that is easier said than done, but too much stress is not good for the baby. Are your parents nearby - can you go stay with them for a bit? And its okay not to know what to do. Your an emotional wreck right now, and partially it may be due to hormones. He may not care, and if he continues to hurt you, is he really that worth it?
    dragonfly7271

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 6:54 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • Girl....go out and live your life. Become a strong, independent woman and learn to take care of you before you settle for taking care of a man. Life is too short! No man is worth the pain and hurt of not being respected and loved. It is better to give than to receive, yet it is also wise to not give all of yourself without any consideration for your feelings from any man who you are having a relationship with and yet it is a one-sided relationship.

    I was with a 40 + year old man who acted the same way.... wanted me on his terms and ignored and treated me like crap when it suited him. Men like this, from my point of view just want to dominate woman and keep us in our place. They are content with the way things are going for them and are not willing to give for another. Respect yourself and love yourself first! Let him go and find yourself!
    naturescape

    Answer by naturescape at 6:55 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • I don't know....I wanna think that I really love him. I gave up everything to him...i feel like such an idiot. I have no one to go to. I don't have anyone here with me and my parents are working...I just don't know what to do. I'm so messed up right now. And I know I sound like the biggest dramaqueen in the world but I'm not trying to I just want to feel better
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • Hon you are not a drama queen. And there is no reason to feel like an idiot. We have ALL been there in one way or another. It's his loss sweetie, not yours. When your parents get home, can you call them?
    dragonfly7271

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 6:59 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

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