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Potty Resistance - How do we get our 3 year old to alert us that she needs to go and not be unphased by wet pants?

I've been potty training my 3 year old since December. She goes on the potty no problem if we TELL her to sit on the potty, and we lavish her in praise and treats. But she won't alert us when she needs to go. She will very often wet her nderpants and not tell us. We need to notice she is wet or "catch her" before she goes. She isn't bothered by the wet pants, nor will she tell us she needs to go. But, she is aware of the signs because she can tell us when she's sitting on the potty that "pee is coming soon." I think she is aware of it all, but is either unwilling or too lazy to go to the potty. I don't want to "punish her" for wet pants, but I don't know what else to do.

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Asked by Imogen13 at 7:55 PM on Apr. 23, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 4 (46 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Try getting those potty trainers with the strip that turns cold when she pees. She might not like the cold feeling.

    Answer by BisketLiss at 8:04 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • Many, many kids will NOT tell. If you ask "Do you need to go?" they will answer "NO!!!" even while jumping from foot to foot and holding themselves. Why? Because that's what they WISH was true. Having to put down your toys, stop playing, to go sit in the bathroom and pee?!?!? What child wants to stop playing for anything except better play? It takes time and mental maturity to be willing to stop doing something she likes to do something she doesn't really care about.

    Help her be a big kid. Put her on a schedule and keep track for her. If she hasn't gone in two hours, tell her it is time to try - not a question - a flat instruction. If she doesn't go then, send her back in 1/2 an hour. Keep doing that until she does go. Then reset your mental clock for 2 hours.

    Keep doing that until she starts to tell you or she simply starts going on her own. Even then, keep track! "I was busy" accidents are common to age 5 or 6.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 8:40 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • I think that if you are using trainer diapers like pull ups then you need to stop and go to regular underwear. that way when she pees It now becomes a giant mess that one cant readily ignore. I think that will help and yes it will be alot of laundry at first, but in the end it will pay off.

    Answer by SaturnsMom at 9:02 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Some kids have a hard time recognizing the need to go. Have her sit on the pottty at least every 30 minutes. Do not use pullups; they are way to comfortable. Have her wear "big girl panties" or go bottomless at home.

    Answer by rkoloms at 12:28 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • She doesn't wear pull ups. She wears big girl underwear.

    Answer by Imogen13 at 8:46 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Great prior advice....undies only! No pull-ups. Then instruct her to sit every so often. I use a timer! Good luck!

    Answer by Onthe5yearplan at 4:55 PM on May. 5, 2009

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