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Why is this happening to me?

Back in January I caught SO cheating on me, didn't actually catch him in the act but they were both butt ass naked and asleep; well at first I was having issues getting that image out of my head especially when we became intimate. But now, I'm having dreams that hes being unfaithful to me with other girls. Is this my mental way of coping with things?


Asked by Breezy1988 at 9:27 PM on Apr. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • Trust can be re-established, but it takes time and hard work. Your dreams are just a manifestation of your fears. Sometimes they can be a gut feeling, but just keep reminding yourself that you have to have faith in him if you want to make it work. If it happens again then he is not worth it, but until then, if you do not have faith then you will make yourself crazy. Let him know that you are putting your faith in him, but if he ever thinks that he is going to cheat again, that he should be a man and be truthful with you since now so that you can get out of this relationship. I would recommend really working on your relationship with God. When my husband cheated on me it made me realize that I cannot do it without God. I cannot trust my husband, myself, or my future within my marriage, without the help of God, hope this makes sense. God helped me to be strong, and slowly he is repairing my marriage...

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 12:55 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • a warning??

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 9:27 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • No, it's not a way of helping you cope. It's a manifestation of your insecurity. Deep down you haven't let it go, you are still insecure.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • You know what you saw and you know in your heart he is cheating. Time to say..."bye, bye"

    I married a man who near the end of our 8 months of marriage started treating me bad and made reference of a mutual friend...I thought my friend too... that I shouldn't talk with her cause of a death in her family...but he was there for her. He made the remark to me in a tone I had heard him say about me to his hateful bitchy sister...."I care for her"." I knew when he said that, they were seeing each other and she could have his nasty ass.

    Your subconscious is reminding you what you already know is the truth!

    Answer by naturescape at 9:33 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • No i think it could be your mind telling you that you no longer trust him or that whatever was there before you found him in bed with someone else is no longer there. A health relationship needs to have TRUST and you can no longer trust him. I believe once they cheat they think that no matter what you will stay with them and in your relationship hes winning and you are unhappy. You may really want to think long and hard about this relationship that you in, your mind is trying to tell you something. Protect your heart. GL

    Answer by raemommy at 9:33 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • I can't imagine still being with him if you found him butt naked sleeping with her. Did they say they just lost their clothes and got sleepy and laid down or what? Get rid of the cheating dog and the dreams will stop

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • I would drop that fool

    Answer by feelgoodinc at 9:43 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • well this may not make sense to any of you, but honestly I have never been so happy in my life (prior to the cheating) I gave him another chance because I really love him and we're having twins I dont have family that I can lean on for support or anything, I want to believe that he's truly sorry (he does show remorse) he asked me to marry him and I turned him down because I dont trust him all the way yet and he got online and found a place where we could get couples counseling. That showed me that he truly cares... I dont know of any guy doing that. He'll make a great dad I know because Ive seen him around all his nieces and nephews we've been together for two years now, should I talk to him about it more, i dont want to annoy him but he's also the one who brought it on to himself

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 9:44 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • Who cares if it annoys him? He has to work to earn your trust back. Do the counciling thing. Make him work at it. If you can get past it, then great. If not, then at least you tried.

    Answer by Buffie95 at 9:47 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • I believe it is your way of dealing with it, but I also think it is you telling urself that you dont trust him as someone had said. If that was me I woulda woke them both up and confronted them then and there. But talk to him about it and ask what the hell is going on. Get the story from him... and if it makes you feel better punch him in the face if he admits to it *L*. Sometimes that is not wise.... but I would definately confront him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 PM on Apr. 23, 2009