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Would you be able to stay....

in a relationship that didn't involve sex? I ask because I reciently met a couple that has been married for 35 years, 26 of which he was paralysed from the neck down. So do you think you would be strong enough to stay, without cheating?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:48 PM on Apr. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Obviously the love was there before he became paralyzed... That is so sad! I have to say that I don't think I could though. But if she is faithful, then that must be some really strong love!
    pamelajqs

    Answer by pamelajqs at 11:50 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • sure I could. I vowed in sickness and in health. and I didn't marry him for sex. It's just a nice bonus to what we already have.
    Kiter

    Answer by Kiter at 11:51 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • That reminds me of a post I read in a forum a while back.. he too had become paralyzed and was unable to perform. She was writing how they had this deal that she had sex with his friend two times a week because she needed satisfied. I thought it was absolutely disgusting and told her so. She said he totally understood and approved. I said, put yourself in his place, you are breaking his heart and how would you feel if the positions were reversed? I still have issues with that statement she made. I told her I thought it made her no better than an animal.

    Can you live without sex? Absolutely. If he is paralyzed, you get creative.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:55 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • None of us really knows and I think the length of the relationship might have a lot to do with it. At this point after almost 18 years with my husband I think I could. It would be a challenge, but if we were still able to cuddle and have other forms of affection that would help. Yes I would miss sex greatly but I would still have love and that's more important.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 12:05 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • I have been married a year and OF COURSE I WOULD...
    Eveshalloween

    Answer by Eveshalloween at 12:08 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Sex is a natural thing. And it's natural to want to do it with other people other than your husband or wife. We have horomones and those horomones make us want to do it. Of course we have self control but the body needs sex. I don't believe we were meant to have one partner our entire lives. That is just un-natural. If I were paralized, I'd want him to go get it from someone else, and I would expect the same from him if he became paralyzed.
    sarapurser

    Answer by sarapurser at 12:15 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • I feel that id be able to control the urge to move on to someone else, I mean if you truly love your spouse and like the vows, say for better or for worse in sickness and in health; he probably finds other ways to please her sexually, and i wouldnt doubt that she has some BOB's (battery operated boys) like someone said earlier you dont marry for the sex;
    Breezy1988

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 12:23 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Oh Yes, If my husband became paralyzed or heaven's forbid dies in five minutes that thought would get me through it " Yes! I never have to have sex again! Woo Hoo!!!"
    mrssullivan

    Answer by mrssullivan at 12:54 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • In that situation absolutely. But if he or I just weren't attracted to the other anymore, probably not.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:07 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • with outta doubt in that situation I would ... when I first started reading I was like hell NO but in this case if it was something physically wrong and I loved him then yes
    kflwrgrl

    Answer by kflwrgrl at 10:55 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

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