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what constitutes a 'horrible parent'

Well I saw a mom on here today called a 'horrible parent' and it offended me. No it was not about me, it was about a mother who admitted she needed help and wasn't sure what to do. Well I was a mother at 17 and I wasn't sure what to do at first either, but I lived and learned and now I'm a 37 year old mother with 3 children and I have a masters in accounting. I just don't understand what gives any woman on here a right to judge a young parent who is trying their best, even if they have admitted to making mistakes.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:36 AM on Apr. 24, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • A horrible parent is one that neglects, abuses, or completely disregards her children at all and cannot take care of them but does not seek help. People on here are so quick to judge others without even knowing anything about the person or the circumstance. Just because you are a young mother doesn't make you a bad mother. And just because you are an older mother doesn't make you a good mother. The only thing that can determine if you a good parent or not is how your kids are treated and cared for, and I still think those who realize they cannot care for their children properly and seek help are considered good parents because they are doing what's best for their kids.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 1:39 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Exactly Ash! That's what I was thinking when I saw that! My heart bleed so badly for the poor mother who was being called a horrible mother because I understood her pain!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • are you in the group 'the popular girls lunch table' LOL because an anon made me cry today because she called me a horrible mother and i talked about it in there! if not what a crazy coincidence. but i have to make an amendment.... i can say that I'M a horrible mother because i wish i could give my son WAY more than i can really, but no one else can call me that because they dont know what im giving my son already and what i am already doing for him!

    Answer by aliciatron at 1:45 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • No aliciatron this wasn't about you but I have seen your posts and can relate to them. This was about a 16 year old mother I saw a few hours ago, with someone judging her. Aliciatron I do not believe you are a horrible mother either though, I wish I knew what post you were talking about though.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • What exactly did she need help with? I think a horrible parent is some one who abuses or neglects there children. It is a huge adjustment to be a parent especially for a girl still in her teens. I was 25 when I had my son, and did not feel ready to be a mother, but I made myself ready. BTW way to go mama on the masters degree

    Answer by Princess_Sarah7 at 2:14 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • do you prop the baby's bottle while leaving them in the crib?
    do you not feed your toddler but feed yourself? is their toys to play with or clean clothes?
    has your child seen a dentist and followed up to fill cavities? is everything toxic out of reach?
    do you hit,scream or spank just because your child has a meltdown? may be that they are tired or have needs and they are frequent!!! attention! do you put yourself in your childs position?
    all this makes for being, well not the best parent, but kids are resilient

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Ash said it right. Just love your baby and do the best you can, and when your best's not good enough, get help.

    Answer by lstrickland at 4:04 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Gee, anon, I guess my parents were horrible parents because they never took me to the dentist. I guess that overshadows the fact that they loved me and did everything they could to take care of me. The fact that they couldn't afford dental visits just blows everything else away.

    A horrible parent is a person who just does not care. You can provide food, shelter, all the necessities in life, and STILL be a horrible parent. And on the flip side, you can not be able to provide some of those things and still be a good parent. No one is perfect and no one has the same set of ideals. Just because someone doesn't do things MY way does not mean they aren't a good parent.

    Answer by Silvertears1275 at 6:06 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • The term "horrible parent" needs to be reserved for those who do heinous things to their children. The ones who starve their children to death, or drown them in the bathtub, or put the baby in the microwave...

    I heard spanking called "abuse" this morning... whatever. Children have been spanked for thousands of years without any real damage done to those children. I was one of them. I am a happy healthy person with good relationships with my parents, my husband, and my friends.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 6:53 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • In the world of CafeMom it seems that a "horrible parent" is anyone who parents a different way than the "woman" calling them a horrible parent does...

    Answer by AnnieMcD at 7:02 AM on Apr. 24, 2009