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SO & newborn....

I just need advice on what to do, My three week, almost four week old is just very needy right now... She wont sleep unless she is held and she is up for feedings more frequently now... So as you can imagine, i dont get much sleep... Im with her day and night and i do it by myself... (EvEN THOUGH I LIVE WITH SO!!!!! ) .... Whenever i ask him for help its a fuckin argument... Like if i ask him to do ONE morning feeding so i can sleep a little, he fights me on it.... If i ask him to sit with her for fifteen minutes, Its a fuckin fight.... But when people are around he is all about helping... or when i call him on his shit, he helps because he feels bad.... I dunno what to do. I lost it yesterday and was crying my eyes out talking to a girlfriend because im just struggling with not getting any sleep and just trying to adjust with a new baby. I love being a mommy and yes, at times i get frustrated & .... Con...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:24 AM on Apr. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • I feel bad for getting frustrated... Im this little girls life line..
    I just need advice on how to cope with this better???... im done fighting and getting stressed out about it... I just want help with OUR daughter.... and its a fuckin hassle.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:25 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Tell him that this is his child too, and that he needs to help out with her, because it is not fair for you to have to do everything.
    Rainbowbrite639

    Answer by Rainbowbrite639 at 7:30 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • I suggest you stop doing anything that makes his life easier.... and use that free time to get some must needed rest! I can tell you right now, that getting him to help is only going to make you more tired and drained. Show him how him not helping out is going to affect his comfort and see how that works for ya.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 7:37 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • This is not answering your question but I have to say it.

    Men suck with Babys. I dont know why but they do. Maybe He will get better when BB gets older. You are so not alone with this one Mamma - hang in there.
    bristle3kids

    Answer by bristle3kids at 7:56 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Men do not suck with babies, not all men anyway. I think you just need to be calm, rational and insistent that the both of you are this child's parents, both of you need to be involved in her care.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 8:42 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • That is not true, not all men suck with babies. I've known men who were far more nuturing and invested than the Mom, that's just a stereotype. I'd sit him down, and tell him exactly what you told us: the TWO of you are her life line. If he can't find a way to man up on the daily (not just when guests are over) He can have her on the weekends like the rest of the non custodial fathers. You don't have to be as harsh as I am being right now, but he is casuing you (and in turn your baby) more stress than he is worth. I would telling hom how vital this is if he wants you all to remain a family. It would hurt to leave, immensely, but it would hurt a lot more to stick around growing more in your resentment, becoming less emtionally available for your child (which stress can do to anyone), and having nothing left for yourself. Sit him down, he needs to get it together, like yesterday. Good luck, honey I'm sure he'll do what he has to.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:43 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • I would say something like "if you're not going to help raise OUR child, than I might as well just leave you considering im doing this all by myself anyway" maybe it will make his shit go into gear
    Breezy1988

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 8:57 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • All men do not suck with babies. My DH and my BIL are great with their respective kids. DH let's me sleep in when I need it and always helps... usually without being asked. BIL let's my BFing SIL sleep in on weekends and keep him for the morning feeding. PLEASE quit giving men a bad name on this site.


    OP-You need to tell your jerk BF that he helped make the baby now he has to help care for her. If he keeps being an ass I would start telling others how he's acting... like his MOM! When he's helping while others are a round comment on how nice it is for him to help in front of others and you wish he would do that all the time...haha

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 8:59 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • I am sorry to everyone - You are right, all Men dont suck with BB's. I guess I said that because I am so good with infants and I never really let hubby do anthing. I just did it. I felt like, of course I did it better than him. Sorry again.
    bristle3kids

    Answer by bristle3kids at 9:04 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • my dh didn't help any with our dd & she still depends on me to get her into bed (she'll be 3 in july) and we're expecting our second baby in september & i'll probally have to do most the mork with both children... but i'm not complaining my dh works 12 hours a day at his job (which is a hard job in construction).... so i don't ask for much help from him at all, just to keep an eye n our dd while i take a shower, that's it...... it's not hard to take care of a baby by yourself, tiring yes, but not hard... suck it up & deal with it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

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