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Why always him!?

yes, Im mad already! Why is it that my husband always end up doing his parents favors and his two other brothers dont seem to do a thing. I mean they all have the same father,and mother. Right now their father is sick and is dying of cancer he's only got 2 months or a month to live.and the only one who is able to go watch him while she (his mom) gets some sleep for an hour or two is my husband. Well guess what my husband works too. and is just as tired as his brothers. So why can't his brothers do anything ?

 
incarnita

Asked by incarnita at 9:01 AM on Apr. 24, 2009 in Health

Level 14 (1,386 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Because they are ungrateful and selfish. Let your husband have that time with his father as its going to be the last time he could ever see him. It wont go on forever and in the end his brothers will regret not helping and being around. Praise your husband for doing it as most men push it off on the wives and use them working as the excuse why they can not help. Be grateful he know's how to treat his family and that he is taking care of his father during this time. He is a very caring man and you should be grateful. Once his father is gone his brothers will see what jerks they were and your husband can sit back and know that he was there until the end.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 9:04 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • I can't speak for his brothers but look at it this way. Your husband is losing his only father. This is quality time he gets to spend with him. I think this is really petty of you to be selfish at this time in your husbands life. I am not trying to bash you. but your husband needs your support. He is losing his Dad. Your dad gets to spend an hour or two a day with his dying father alone. you can't beat that. some people don't even get a few minutes with their dying loved one. Just relax. As you say he only has a month or two left. then your husband will be all yours!!:-) and plus he's helping your mother. and as for the brothers F**K them if they don't want to pitch in and help their mom and dad. it is their loss... I am sorry you are going through this, good luck
    2wndrfl_btrflys

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 9:05 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • i have the same prob. my man is so good to his family (even though they're rather prickly towards him.). not only does no one else do anything, but they get mad at him when he doesnt jump right on a task. guess what people? he works and has a family at home, too!
    duuuuhhhhh! people can be so frustrating!
    mama_moonsong

    Answer by mama_moonsong at 9:06 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • i did not mean for that to sound as bad as it does. i just read it back and it sounds awful Im sorry for being so mean. I don't mean that you are actually selfish.
    2wndrfl_btrflys

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 9:09 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • I can only guess he is doing this because he only has so much time with his dad and at the same time he comforting his mom and brothers. I mean that is his family and this is probably the only way he can cope with what is going on. Let him do what he has to do until something happens just stay by his side and support him. This is only for the time being not to mention he is probably going to have to check on them from time to time after everything is said and done. but be considerate and patient this only until they get back on their own two feet. He is probably just very close to his family and hey that is a good thing. GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:16 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • I don't think she was bashing her DH for spending time with his parents, I think she was just upset that the other ones can't or won't pitch in too. Well, it is their loss, and she and her husband can rest assured afterwards knowing they did the right thing, and the parents know too. Sorry your family is going through something like this, and good luck to you all.
    pagan_mama

    Answer by pagan_mama at 11:00 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • I have been watching MY mother take care of HER mother in law (not related to me) for over a year with very advanced stages of alzheimers. He and my mom have power of atty to deal with her meds and her care. She has been kicked out of 5 homes and been in the psychatric hospital 3 times. She has FIVE kids and none of them do a damn thing to help. They do all live in other states, but they don't see her, call her or send cards. She has her money to help take care of her, but they are useless. In fact, they seem to want to stay as far away as possible. My mother has lost sleep over this and is totally stressed out because shes having a hard time finding care for her. She needs specialized 24/7 care. My mom cant have her in her home because of the strange and down right crazy things she does. Like walk around naked, poop on the floor, pee on herself and wander around all night. Its been so hard on her.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 2:11 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • I don't think shes being petty at ALL. Its HARD to care for an elderly person. Its almost a full time job and if youre doing it on top of another job, you need people to help out. Its like babysitting. they cant be left alone, they have to be fed and dressed and yes its time with his dad, but he really needs help from his siblings. I understand her frustration for sure!
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 2:13 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

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