Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How to come out of fear ?

This is arranged marriage and v got married on december 2008, we had gap of 5 months before marriage also. i was talking with this 5 months only through phone and web cam, b'c he was in foreign.i was talking with him without any fear before marriage.. i was not afarid of him but iam now living with him dependly.nowdays i was so afraid to ask him anything that i need, i cant even ask him any small thing.. thinking that he will say something.. after he went to office i was sitting alone and iam feeling a lot and crying too that y i was so fear to ask him anythg i needed too .. how to come out of this fear and ask him anythg that i needed?... help me pls..

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Apr. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Where are you from? If you live in America you can have the courts annul your marriage if you were forced into it as we don't believe in that here. I would suggest you go to the courts or your family who arranged the marriage for you. I know in your culture that if the marriage is arranged that sometimes death is the only way out and I wouldn't want that to happen. Seek help. Is he abusive or are you just young and scared as its your culture to be submissive to your mate?
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 10:37 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • If you feel that he's going to hurt you there is help. Call your local police station and they should be able to give you the numbers to call for help getting out. If that's what you're wanting to do. Otherwise itf you aren't afraid of him then just sit down and talk to him, tell him what you need. The only way you will know is to ask. Goodluck...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • This sounds like a cultural situation. Perhaps you should ask someone from your own culture how to go about this. I've been watching movies about arranged marriages and in them the women seem to go through a lot of the same experiences. Do you have married family you could ask how to properly deal with this? Is there a CM group for women in arranged marriages? If not, maybe you could start one. What about a religion/cultural based counselor? Maybe instead of telling him what you need you could ask him what he thinks you need and then ask if you could add things you think you need. Some men think they are king of their castle. I find that asking them instead of telling them works best in those cases.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:32 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • You didn't mention if your husband has done anything to make you afraid... If he has not, then you may be surprised that you have nothing to be afraid of, its hard to depend on someone for everything. He is your husband and you need to feel comfortable asking for anything you need. Just try asking... you may be surprised. Also talk to him.. communication is very important, he may be walking around thinking nothing is wrong... Unless he has done something to make you afraid try talking to him.... good luck
    tazcentral

    Answer by tazcentral at 11:57 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • If you are married in America, you don't need to stay with a man who you are afraid of.If you are in USA and don't want to be in this marriage, divorce him.If you are not, I wish you were.It is hard enough to stay married to a good man sometimes.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:37 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.