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My Step som called me mom

I feel really bad my 2 year old step son calls me mom on our visits. My husband and I do not teach him this... I always ask him questions like where's daddy, where's sister and when it comes to me I say where's karen and that is what we have been working on. I love him like he is my son... Regardless of my feelings for him, he said "bye mom" to me in front of my husbans's ex. I know that if my daughter were to call someone elso mom it would break my heart. I don't want her to think that we are teaching him to call me mom... I know that she herd him say it and I'm sure it hurt her feeling. I know that there is nothing we can really do but continue working with him. I'm just wondering if there is anyone out there that either is a step momma who has had this happen or the momma who's kids call another woman mom???


Asked by Countrymommy03 at 3:43 PM on Apr. 24, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (14)
  • wow i usually hear that step mom's and step dad's are nightmares. so for the little one to call you mom is touching.. and you are kind enough to actually think about his real mom's maybe you guys can teach him momma karen or mommy karen? to just call u karen might be confusing because you are his mom. step mom. second mom. ya know? if i were the bio mom i wouldn't feel bad about that...mommy karen/momma karen. that's actually kinda cute.

    Answer by katmami at 3:52 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Could you call her and tell her that that isn't something that you are teaching him? You could just politely let her know that you completely understand how that would feel and see what she says about it.......

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:44 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Maybe it was just a slip? My kids have slipped and called their grandma mom before. In my situation, it didn't hurt b/c I knew it was just a slip, but is it possible that's all that happened here. Also, I would address it with her directly, either you or hubby, depending on how well you get along with her. I would just tell her I know he said this, and I know it hurt your feelings and I just want to assure you that we are not teaching him to say that, I wouldn't try to take your place, all that kind of stuff. And then just keep working with him, as you said. I think, if my kids had a stepmom (they don't), I would be more upset if she pretended it didn't happen than if she acknowledged it and assured me that she didn't encourage it and it just happened.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 3:46 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • My MIL runs a daycare and the kids are always calling her mom, I don't think he thinks your his mom I think he sees it as well she takes care of me, she's nice to me, she likes me, so I call her mom because thats what moms do. It's not like he likes you better than his mom, he may see you two as the same so he feels the need to call you mom. It's not that big of a deal, I do understand if my child called someone else mom I would be heartbroken, but then I would understand that anytime a women is nice to him he feels the need to say mom. My son called some pretty lady who gave him a lolipop mom. So he's not getting rid of his mom, he just likes you and wants you to know it. I would tell her your sorry and you had nothing to do with him saying it, and just feel good that he thinks of you that way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • I think it would be a sign that he is comfortable with you and trusts and loves you. If his biomom is ok with it, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. It also could be because he hears your kids call you mom and wants to "fit in".

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 3:47 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • i would call her like anon 3:44 said. just so that there is no resentment directed at you for something you did not do. or have your husband call her if you don't have a good relationship with her. just so she knows it wasn't intentional, you are trying to get him to call you by your name he just did it himself. maybe, if it is something you are both comfortable with he could call you momma karen or something along those lines. he is calling you mom b/c for whatever period of time you are with him, that is the role you take, which is what you should do. however its got to be confusing for him as well especially at such a young age. just an idea

    Answer by vabchmommy at 3:50 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • I am a stepchild, I called my mothers ex my dad when I was on the phone with my real father and it broke his heart. But, if your not teaching him that explain to his mother the next time she omes to pick him up that you under no circumstances are teaching him that, and that your sorry if her feelings are getting hurt. What else can you do hes two!

    Answer by lilmama31709 at 3:54 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • I just realized that I spelled son wrong LOL gosh this 3 month lack of sleep is a fun one... Me and his mom are civil but not enough to sit down and chat... We have thought about mamma Karen thing. we are always working with him I was thinking about making a picture book with a picture of Daddy, momma Karen, his baby sister, cousins, uncles and aunts and work on names that way it will be like a game.

    Answer by Countrymommy03 at 3:59 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Try the Momma Karen thing.
    I mean If he's that comfortable with you and you're saing no call me karen
    That him hurt him and make him not so comfortable with you
    Seeing how kids can get hurt easily.. you know.
    He might think you don't love him as well, and thats why you want him to calll you karen.

    Call his Bio mom and tell her it's not what you're teaching him.
    And maybe see if it's ok that he calls you momma karen.

    That's what I called my best friends mom growing up, but with her last name.
    Cause she was and still is more of a mom to me than my own.
    We also call our store manager Big momma,cause she take good care of us.
    Like a mom

    Answer by Mitch_Gray37 at 4:16 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • at two someone had to teach him that. He didn't come up with it all by himself. Try Momma Karen if all else fails. All heck would have broken loose if I heard my child call someone else mom

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:33 PM on Apr. 24, 2009