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If theres nothing wrong, Am I wrong to let him cry?

My son is five weeks old, and although Im with his father, Its just me and the baby for the majority of the day, and sometimes night (daddy works early in the am so he sleeps on the couch most nights) My son always wants to be hed when hes awake, and although I love to hold him occasionally I want an hour to myself when hes fed, changed, burped, etc. If theres nothing the matter with him, is it wrong to let him cry for a few minutes? My mother-in-law to be (eventually) says not to let him cry for more than ten minutes. Im torn because I want him to be able to be put down and not cry to be picked up, but my naturally instinct is to pick him up when he does cry.

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Asked by lilmama31709 at 3:46 PM on Apr. 24, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (13)
  • It's perfectly OK to let him cry for a few minutes.


    Answer by Christine0813 at 3:53 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • go with your instinct. if you need a few minutes to yourself, it's ok to let him cry if you know nothing is wrong, but if you feel torn go ahead and pick him up. he is only 5 weeks old afterall and babies need that security. if you are afraid it'll create a bad pattern, it shouldnt. it'll pass on it's own as he gets older and sleeps better. and dont worry about that too much now in these newborn months!

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 3:57 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • it's ok to let him cry for a little bit, but i think more than 10 minutes is too long, especially for a 5 week old. he must have colic or something because babies that young just sleep, eat and poop most of the time. but if he does have colic, i guess there is really nothing you can do. i've not had a baby with colic.

    Answer by nairda at 3:57 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • its perfectly fine to let him cry for a few mins. its not a big deal. i wouldnt let it go on for like an hour or something extreme like that. but if its only a few mins so you can get something done, like dishes or something, he'll be alright. good luck and congrats on the new baby =]

    Answer by mommykayti at 3:59 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • at that age I agree with your MIL no more than 10 mins.
    Try to find something he likes to be put down in... swing... or my son liked his vibrating rocking chair.
    We also used a baby carrier at that age.
    5 week olds take a lot of naps... so it's a good time to get things done.

    Answer by AmiJanell at 4:13 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • It's OK for him to cry, actually a good work out for his lungs. But like MIL says, at this age not good for long periods of time. Put him down, get what you need done, spend some time, put him back down take a break and come back. Does he like the swing, or bouny seat? Maybe a carrier so he can be close and you can still get stuff done? Does he have a crib or pack and play with a mobile he can look at? He may still be a bit young to appreciate that, though.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • I used a sling with my 3rd as she wanted to be held all the time and I did it with my first 2, it was just harder to give her the attention she needed while doing things for my other kids. The sling saved my life and now that she's a year we still use slings instead of strollers most of the time, they travel easier.
    Can you ask your mil to give you a hand. Maybe she can come over now and then so you can have a break. I still remember my first shower after my son was born and someone was with him while I showered. It was such a peaceful, relaxing moment. Not having to worry about him waking or starting to cry when I couldn't get right to him. If you can't ask your mil maybe there is someone in your neighbourhood who could come over. Maybe a young girl who can play and spend time with your little man and give you a break.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 4:47 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Infants need to feel secure, be held. Do you have a front-carrier that you can use? Maybe a neighbor or family member can come by and snuggle your baby for a while?

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:35 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • At 5 weeks I wouldn't let my child cry for any period of time. My baby is 7 weeks, I always go to him.

    Answer by Pauline3283 at 6:35 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • No mother is the same and that would depend on you. What I did was let my children cry if they were cared for, if they were in discomfort I might put something warm on their belly, if I felt they were bored I might put a toy in the crib with them, if I felt they were colicky and couldn't be soothed I might place them in the rocker/baby swing in the same room as me or conjoining room so I could look in on them to see how they were. There were times I just left them in there room to cry w/o anything to comfort them, they all survived and are sweet loving children, so don't think your child will grow up remembering and resenting you for not holding them all the time. None of my children were held all the time, and never asked to be later, they could play by themselves or with others just fine and they still loved to cuddle and snuggle with mommy and daddy, they just weren't clingy kids thank goodness. Do what you feel is right.

    Answer by Knightquester at 7:14 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

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