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i think that my son should come back with me.

when my son was just a baby i went threw a very stressful time and this dad and i decided that it was best for him to live with dad. well his dad is going through a tuff time right now and i want my son to come and live with me. he doesnt want to let him come back he says that he has it under controll. we do not have a court order for custody or child support or anything and i dont want to go to court we have always done what is best for our son. we get along pretty well we just cant live togheter. i am sure that he doesnt want him to come here because he will be starteing kindergarden in august and he doesnt want to admit that it could take him that long to get back on his feet. should i try and be more agressive and demand that my son come live with me or give him a chance to work out his problems. he is liveing with his mom right now and i have my own house with my husband. i do not want to take him to court.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Apr. 24, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (7)
  • Tell him that it's best for your son, ask him "don't you want whats best for him, if you love your son you'll let him live with me until you can get back on your feet, he's my son too and all I want is whats best for him" If that doesn't work tell him your going to take him to court because your son needs to be living well not stressful. You don't really have to take him to court, hopefully it will scare him enough to let your son come live with you. If not take him to court, you have your own home and your well off so you'll get custody.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Ask him to think of how you must have felt when you let your son go live with him. It wasn't easy for you, either, I'm sure, but you did it b/c it was what was best for your son. He needs to do the same. And if it's best for your son to be with you, even for just a little while, then that's what should happen. If he still refuses, and you really think it's best for your son to come live with you, then take him to court. Good luck!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 3:53 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • i agree with anon :50... tell him all that and if it doesnt work, you might HAVE to take him to court. living with you is best right now, the dad is going to have to just get over it.

    Answer by mommykayti at 3:57 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • It seems that you will have to go to court, have your home approved by the state, be declared a fit mother, etc.

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:26 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Go to court. Just because he is living with his mom does not mean he is unfit. Since your child has been living with his father he will have a very good chance at keeping custody. I say leave it alone. Offer to help him but the child should remain with the person they have been living with. If you love your child you will do what is best. You have not paid child support so if you go to court and lose you will be ordered to pay.

    My stepdad lost custody of his sons but his ex was ordered to pay him for the 7 years of back support even though she had custody. Basically it cancelled out what he would have to pay her in support. The kids went back to the father because they were more comfortable with him and it was best. I would really think about the child and not your own desires.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Wow anon @ 1:18. That's kinda harsh. She was saying she wanted her kid to live w her bc she believes it's best for the kid. It sounds like in the past she's done what's best by letting him stay w the dad when she wasn't able to care for him.

    Answer by gabenmikeysmom at 9:16 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Ask your son what he wants! Kids know thingsand if he knows his dad needs a break he might open up and say so, however if he's developed the male mentality then your going to have to put in work to see what your son is feeling and thinking. Remind Mr. Man you have been fair and so has he by giving you the time you needed to get where you are and all you want is to return the favor!!!! Now if your ex is afraid of losing his son reassure him that is not your intention all you're trying to do is lighten his load. When the time comes and he's ready to have your so back its not going to be easy, so don't tryto trick yourself into believing it will be!!!! After you get this straightened out work on living arrangements so his father won't fret you trying to take your son from him; summer with you, school year with dad.

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 3:15 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

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