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Why is it that the brides had to be proven virgin but the groom did not?

Jewish tradition stated that the marriage was to be consumated directly after the wedding and that the man was to present a cloth with "virginal blood" to the bride's father to proove it. Because if she was not a virgin the maffiage could have been voided. But what if he wasn't a virgin? Didn't it matter?

Why is it that the woman is always the one looked to for "purity" and not the man? Even today a man can have multiple partners and it's just seen as "being a man" but a woman that has more than a few partners is seen as a slut...


Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:21 PM on Apr. 24, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (10)
  • Because men have ruled the world and had the power to enforce this double standard.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:22 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • I could be wrong, but I think that there was punishment for a man if he had sex with a woman who was not his wife. Both would be punished. So, the man should have bee a virgin when he married, unless he had been previously married.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Would you mind providing a source for this?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • So you can prove whose baby it is.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 4:35 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • I don't have a source...that's why I said "I think."
    You could try googling it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:36 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • I agree with notpanicking. If she wasn't a virgin, she could technically be pregnant with another man's baby, who would end up inheriting everything. Scary thought.

    I mean back then you couldn't just go on Montel Williams and get a dna test. LOL

    Answer by Cinnamon-mom at 4:39 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • OP Here - I don't really have a huge source. I was taught this in class. As a wedding planner I needed to learn all the wedding traditions and the reasons for them. In Jewish tradition there is supposed to be a little room for the bride and groom to "consumate" in directly after the cerimony and before the reception. Then he is supposed to hand the brides father a cloth... While it's mostly cerimonial now, it was really interesting. The brides father was supposed to keep the cloth. That way the groom could not return her. If she was not a virgin the groom could return her at any time - even years later - because she had not been pure and the brides family would have been "shamed."

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • was all about the inheritence. The cultures that passed them through the mother's line(I believe it was the Celts) had it right. You couldn't prove who fathered a child, but you could easily prove that a woman was pregnant.

    Answer by desert_diva at 4:43 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • The real reason was to be certain of fatherhood in event of a pregnancy. That is also why a man could remarry the next day after a divorce, but a woman had to wait 3 months. The point is to always be 100% of parentage.

    Answer by Marwill at 4:43 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Is there a way to actually prove a man is a virgin? I'm just asking...

    Answer by jesse123456 at 10:16 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

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