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Help! Could you give me some advice?

Ok, heres is the problem. I met someone online and he keeps wanting to meet up. I really like him and I really want to meet him but here is my problem. My self image. I am overweight and my teeth are bad. I am afraid that he won't find me attractive and I would feel crushed. He has seen pics of me, but none of the pics are of me smiling because I don't, and they are all waist up pics so he don't know I have a big butt. lol He seems like the perfect guy for me. I love everything about him, its just the fear of rejection that holds me back. How do I get past this and meet him, or should I just let him go until I feel better about myself? (and please no advice on online dating, we met through friends, he isn't a threat)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:17 PM on Apr. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I tell guys before I meet him in person what my physical flaws are. That way they don't react like it's a surprise. I let them know I am overweight and hair is thinning etc. I try to put it in a humorous way but the point is I tell them so I don't get hurt if it's a deal breaker and they walk away. I can take it if they walk away before meeting me but it would hurt too bad to watch them do it. Usually it still goes over well. They seem to be drawn to my personality more than my shell which is good bc I lost my school girl figure many years ago and I have no idea where to look for it again! You will be fine. Just be you. It sounds like he likes your spirit and in most cases that is what is important
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:20 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • If you don't meet him you will never know what this could turn into. Everyone is fearful of rejection...even people who seem to have no flaws. I have always been a person that looks at the personality instead of the looks. Not everyone is like that however, but good people are...and those are the ones you want to find and be with. So here's your options...you meet the guy and he doesn't care about your "flaws" that you think you have and things go great and turn into something really special...or you meet him and things don't work out for whatever reason. OR you just don't meet him at all and live the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if you just had the courage to go through with it? Now which is worse?
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 6:22 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • if i were you i would just go into it with a positive attitude. if he cares so much about what you look like and what not then hes not for you anyways. i would meet up with him just to find out if its worth even talking to him, let alone falling for him and/or getting hurt....
    good luck!!!!!
    mommykayti

    Answer by mommykayti at 6:23 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Send him a full body shot with you smiling so he can judge you for himself. Don't go on ranting about your imperfections because NO ONE is perfect, some just hide it better than others and good guys don't like chics that feel bad about themselves.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 6:37 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • I really appreciate your advice, sending him a pic is a good idea, i would rather he reject me now than in person. Normally I don't have this problem because I have always met a person and then they have asked me out. I know then they like me just the way I am, but being we got to know each other online and through texing.. it is very different to now meet after it means so much. Thank you ladies. Good advice as always
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

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