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What do you do when your step child becomes an out of control teen?

my 15 yr old stepson Ronnie is defiant, refuses to go to school, curses at me and has just recently become violent with my children whom are younger. Ronnie has as well had a few problems with the local law enforcement agency and has been expelled a few times for violent actions towards other students. When I try to talk to him he becomes verbally abusive to me and then lashes out at my children. His mother left him when he was eight and his father and I are no longer together. I need help not sure where to turn from here, any advise?

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Asked by Buttons78 at 10:24 PM on Apr. 24, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (15)
  • maybe take him to a counsler

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • You need to talk to both parents,because theoretically there is nothing YOU can do, it is not your child


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • First let me say...Thank you for being a stand up and responsible woman for taking care of him.
    This kid has been rejected by both of his biological parents. And I can grasp the turmoil within him. That said , he does not have permission to be abusive verbally or phyisically with anyone. Have you been able to get him into counseling? I would take that route first and if he decides he is going react in abusive ways, then I would have the police deal with him when he gets out of control.
    As crappy as he thinks things are for him.....they will just get crappier, until he learns how to accept that it isn't his fault his bio's are jerks, and how to control his outbursts.

    Answer by MomShawn70 at 10:39 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • Why are you still taking care of him if you aren't with his father? Let his father deal with him. He needs intensive counseling and I would not let him near my children until he has learned to control his anger. If he touches my kids, he would be back with the police and I would not let him back, until he has been through inpatient counseling. He may have been dealth a bad deal but it doesn't give him the right to act like a jerk, harm others and get in trouble. He needs to learn how to control his emotions and be respectful before he ends up in prison for life.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:40 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • first of all why do you have him if you and his father IS NOT ToGEATHER its not your kid

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I commend you for taking responsibility! Obviously his biological parents ditched him and I would think that's where most of the anger stems from. As a child, my parents worked a lot and for some time, I took that as abandonment.. through my teen years I lashed out and got in trouble a few times with drugs. i honestly would try to get him in counseling or if you still have any contact with his father, try talking it out with him, for maybe he doesn't realize the impact he has had! I think your stepson just needs someone to talk to; sometimes kids, especially teens, have trouble expressing their emotions on a rational level. With the proper counseling he may be able to better communicate with you and others and truly understand the feelings he is having. Obviously my parents cared and never abandoned us, but talking with an outsider helped me...I honestly only saw a counselor for about 6 months and felt more confident!

    Answer by tinac79 at 4:43 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Teens are especially sensitive. it's such a confusing time to begin with! I'd never wish to be back there! What you're doing is great! Don't give up on him, but if he is having a detrimental effect on your children or is harming them in any way, he must be removed from the household and perhaps try an impatient center. Good Luck!

    Answer by tinac79 at 4:45 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I agree with tinac79.....don't give up on him. But he does need some counseling, sooner rather then later. He has some serious anger issues, don't wait until it is to late to help. Call your local health and welfare they should be able to help and set you in the right dorection!

    Good luck and good job on not just dumping him when things are getting tough!

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 6:40 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Don't take him to counseling that will just piss him off even more!

    Answer by kylesboo at 8:08 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • You need to smack him so hard the asshole falls out of his head. Kids like that need a wake up call. If my kids ever did that for no reason, I would take away all of his stuff, not let him go out, and smack him every time he hit my children. You need to step up and show him whos boss. Kids these days need a good beating in them is what I think. Im seventeen years old for god sake. When I was younger I wouldnt dare do any of that shit. Kids should fear their parents, and anyone older than them. Fear teaches respect, and without fear, kids will walk all over you. I see this every day, and If I were in your shoes, I would teach him a lesson and show him that he is still a little boy and he will be nothing in this world if he keeps his shit up.

    Answer by MammaBella at 8:23 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

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