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I need some honest answers for a question.

I'm possibly (most definitely, the symptoms fit), pregnant with my second child. I love my first born to death. Will I be able to love my second one as much? I only ask because I'm not sure my mother loved both or either of her children, my brother and I, and am still learning the ropes on mothering relationships (especially healthy ones). please don't laugh, I am emotional, terrified, and I don't think the people in my life (hubby, mother, etcetera) would quite understand how to handle this question.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:32 AM on Apr. 25, 2009 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Awww ((hugs)) I don't know what kind of asshole would laugh at you right now. This is a totally normal fear, but it's one that is completely unfounded. Of course you will love your second child as much as you do your first. You will love them differently, because they are a different person, but just as much, and it will make you love your first born more, because it adds another dimention to their character.

    I'm so sorry that you have such trouble with this, and I'm sorry to hear about the tension with your mom. You're a good mother or you wouldn't be worried about this so much.

    If you want to talk you can PM me :)
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:37 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I only have one child. However my husband dealt with a similar situation. I can tell you that he is a better father because HIS father wasn't who he needed him to be. I'm willing to bet that you will love ALL of your children so much because of what you've gone through. We don't all make the same mistakes our parents made. And you sound like you will be determined to be better.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 12:37 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I honestly think that people who have more than one children tend to have more feelings for one than the other..
    Some say that more you have more love you have to go around.. I really honestly don't believe that.
    =/
    I think you'll start loving your second child a bit more because you already know what to do and such and it'll seem like the other one is getting on your nerves..
    Lets just hope you're not like those horrible parents that take favorites..

    Good luck though! I wish for the best,
    just remember, be the best you can be!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I admit, I have two children, and a third on the way.
    I am closer to my second, but my first is very very very close to their daddy. I love them soo much. But they will sit by themself, or go off and play alone, and when i do try to go, they don't want me to. My second is very clingy to me. still close to its daddy though.

    right now its hard because my husband is deployed, so my first acts out a lot. I love them both so much. Word don't say how much I do. And this third one, we are so excited. I know I will love it just as much as my other two. It is a different love for each child, but in the end, it is still more than you'll ever be able to describe.

    it'll be ok :-)

    (((hugs)))
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:52 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I love mine both differently, but equally.
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 12:54 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I worried about this when I became pregnant with my second child. i asked my mom and aunt and they both just told me, you'll love the baby don't worry...now I know what they meant. You will love your second child differently, because they are a different person...but you will love them just as much as the first. Good luck!!!

    momjoy1027

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 12:54 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • and to add.... my 2 year old can drive me more crazy, but he is a lot of fun to play with, and cuddle with. my 10 month old is sooo darn cute and active and I love it!!! they are booth a handful and not perfect, but I would not change anything about them.
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 12:56 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I know how you feel. I had my first child in 1999 and when I got pregnant again in 02, I was scared I was going to show favoritism towards my first born. Not intentionally. I asked myself how I could love another child as much as my older son. Its an odd feeling that I think every mother goes through with their second or subsequent children. I'm pregnant with #3 now, and I still wonder about everything...what's he going to look like, am I going to neglect my other kids, will he be as good a sleeper as my oldest, etc. Its just our dang hormones going into high gear! Don't worry!
    kbates1208

    Answer by kbates1208 at 1:09 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • thats why i dont want anymore..no other baby will top what i have with my twins
    ARRI23

    Answer by ARRI23 at 1:49 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • i love both my kids but in two diffrent ways...my first i love becuz he is my first and we have been through hell and back he is a very very sick little 2 year old...and i love my 2nd cuz hes new and cute and almost didnt make it i lost his twin and he made it and so i love him like i would twins:( and if people would be mean to u then they cant got F*#% themselfs
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 AM on Apr. 25, 2009