Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I NEED YOUR OPINION PLEASE!!!!

My 7 year old son, who talks like he's 30, has a very harsh way with words when he's upset. Little things will get him all worked up and when he remembers he wants something from me, he'll come and apologize then of course ask me for what he wants. (( sound familiar? )) Anyhow, when I told him I accept his apology but that I wouldn't let him go to his friends house this weekend he threw a HUGE fit. He told me that he hated me, that he doesn't want to see me again and that he wishes that all the bad things I fear in life would happen to me. IN THOSE WORDS, ... As much as it hurt to hear, I held back from crying and had to remind my self that he was talking out of anger.. Here's the Question, would it be wrong to go out one day like on a regular errand and make my son believe that something happened to me and that I wouldn't be coming home? I know it sounds childish but I want to prove a point..

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:34 AM on Apr. 25, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (9)
  • Aww thats sad. I would cry. I would try exsplaining that if he would have been respectfull that he would have been able to go. Tell him that you were about to reconsider but then he was mean. And it really hurts your feeling because you love him and he should love you. If that doesnt work then I would get some help cuz he should care for you more than that. If my daughter ever told me that she would feel horable.
    Sara722

    Answer by Sara722 at 3:37 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Yes it would be wrong to do that. It could tramatize him or make him feel like he could not believe or trust you anymore. When my son says he hates me, I just tell him that I'm sorry he feels that way. Now, if he were to continue with that kinda hateful talk, I'd warm his little bottom.
    gabenmikeysmom

    Answer by gabenmikeysmom at 8:59 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I think it would be very wrong to do that to him. I understand how you feel, my son has told me before that he doesn't want to live with me. But as much as it hurts, you are the adult and you have to act like one. That means you don't do something that will absolutely terrify your child just to prove a point. I would sit down and ask him, when he is calm, how he would feel if you left one day to run errands and you never came back home b/c something bad happened. Let him think ABOUT it, but don't let him think it actually happened. If he still doesn't get it, then I would, as someone else suggested, consider counseling, b/c he may have some issues that you aren't aware of.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:43 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I'm sorry to hear that. Kids don't know how to control their mouths and emotions....we have a hard enough time as adults...lol. But I wouldnt do what u said. I dont think it would teach him the lesson that u are trying to give him. It would probably just cause him not to trust you. sorry :(
    Teejay602

    Answer by Teejay602 at 1:31 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • You know that it would be wrong. We never want to tell our kids that lying is ok.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:45 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • you need to set a good example so you don't want to trick him. I would try to talk to him when he isn't upset and explain to him how much words can hurt and how just because he gets mad doesn't mean he can say mean things like that. Really talk it through and make him understand when he is calm - that way if it should happen again and he is punished he will totally understand what he's getting punished for. I think that the best way to handle it when he says mean things is to stay calm and say "that kind of talk is mean and unacceptable and we have discussed this" - then calmly tell him he's going to have to be punished again until he learns this lesson.
    My 6yr old stepson is also very mature and I find that talking/explaining things to him is the best way for him to learn...some kids aren't mature enough to understand but it sounds like your son and my stepson are in the same boat...good luck!
    stepmom929

    Answer by stepmom929 at 9:27 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • sorry, but that would be stooping to his level...playing a trick of that magnitude would be aweful. Start taking privledges from him, give him an allowence for whatever chores you have him do, then when he talks back ugly, make him pay you a certain amount per word. Keep a record...when he no longer has any allowence to spend he might think twice about talking back. Is worth a try!
    SuSu222

    Answer by SuSu222 at 9:57 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Never try to trick your child. He sounds as if he has the concept of speaking but not the full understanding of what he is doing. Anger I think stems from not being able to communicate and understand it. HE wants to go so he is nice, but the outcome is wrong. So now he is mad to see if that works. I would make him breath of coarse in and out then pat himself on the back three times. By then he should be calmer. But this is a learned behavior, maybe not home but somewhere. Good luck, their is no bible on raising kids. Thats why I wrote so many stories and hope someday they get published because I explain that exact emotion in a few of my stories. It is very hard to stop an emotion. Maybe practice getting mad. Role play. But NEVER trick him, because he does and will always love you no matter what he says. Ah I am crying now, darn it. dvora swickle
    ms.swickle

    Answer by ms.swickle at 4:19 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • That is a bad idea in so many ways.
    I understand your frustration but by pulling the type of antic that you are considering you will accomplish only two things:
    1. You will be teaching him that it is okay to lie - and cry wolf. It doesn't matter if you had a good "reason", there is no justification for lying when you are trying to teach your child not to do that very thing. It is completely hypocritical.
    2. You will teach him that he cannot count on you - his mum - to always tell him the truth, keep him safe etc. This could, very easily, traumatize a child his age.
    AutymsMommy

    Answer by AutymsMommy at 6:22 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN