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i was disapointed..then felt guilty for the disapointment

we wereust relaxing last night....had a few and the hubby rarely drink so we were a little buzzing. we ended up starting to tease one another and the sex came...and wow it was super connected and just really amazingly around the 45 min mark we went into antoher position (we tried a few) and it was really strong for him and he couldnt hold back anymore and he went.....
and then instantly i was like omg and really disapointed....cause that was it....we stopped cause he was done and i was like omg i was totally not finished and really super worked up. and then i didnt say anything afterwards but i know he sensed it cause he told me he was sorry....
and now ifeel bad cause its not like we only went 5 min. it was 45 -50 minutes but it was just frustrating to me .i have never had an orgasm sex but i know it is possible and ij ust get frustrated anymore .would you be frustrated?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:06 AM on Apr. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Get over it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • ehh i am. but its an ongoing thing. he goes...we left unfinished and frustrated. its not a one time thing. if it was a one time thing i wo uldnt be saying anything

    and you know if your giong to post a bitchy comment like "get over it" at least have the balls to be non anonymous. im anonymous for obvious reason on this one but if your going to be a bitch then why even bother replying?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I totally know what your saying. The only way I orgasm during sex is to totally focus on the feeling and completely forget about my husband and just do what I want so I can reach climax. He's figured this out and lets me finish, then he goes at it full swing and finishes up. Sorry if this is tmi. Just want to help

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • lol I'd be pretty pissed, not gonna lie. The least he could've done is gotten you off afterwards. My SO is the same way. Don't worry you aren't alone haha!!!

    Answer by mommykayti at 9:25 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Try using a finger vibrator while doing it.. it works wonders!! I always had trouble orgasming too, and I tried this and it worked. Though my exfiance didnt like it.. made him feel bad about himself. He was great in bed, it was just MY problem of having a hard time orgasming. A lot of women go through this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Sometimes we have to just enjoy what we can get. The only orgasm sex I get is with a vibrator. SO tries but it just can't seem to happen. So i don't pressure myself or get upset anymore. What if you finished with a vibrator and hubby watched? Would that work for you?

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:33 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Why didn't you just finish yourself off? Him watching that may have brought him right back. It does for my husband when he goes first.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 9:35 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Okay thats common because men are ususally done faster. What needs to happen is communication between you both. If hes about to finish, then he needs to stop, focus on you, do whatever to bring you to orgasm and then finish himself. Its actually quite rare that a woman will finish before the man with actual intercourse. I have had maybe 4 orgasms that way in my marriage. Thats over 14 yrs. You have to be REALLY worked up. So if he was donebefore you, then he needed to help finish you off in whatever way necessary. That way you both can get something out of it.

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:36 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • more often than not, I have to use a vibrator during sex to be able to finish that way. They have the butterfly thing too so that you have clitoral stimulation without having to do it yourself (I've never tried it). I'm embarrassed still to use it during sex, I don't like him watching me use it, so I get on top and face away from him so I can be more comfortable (and the position has better angle penetration for me).
    It took me years to finally realize it's no one's fault really... it's just common that women need clitoral stimulation to have orgasm. If he would prefer to do that for you, then you need to find a position where he can do it during sex,. I tried a new gel called finally (can buy it in any grocery store as well as walmart) that helps me a LOT with clitoral stimulation without me having to do it myself..

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:55 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • You posted anon because you are embarassed. I posted anon because I think you are whining and don't need you coming at me too. Again, you have some suggestions so get over it and do it yourself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

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