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Uniting us as mothers and women of all faiths question.

Okay God has helped me with this question. So I know I will get some helpful advice from everyone who answers.
I'm sure it will be no surprise that I will teach my children what I have learned about the Lord and Jesus. There is still a good chance that they may find and want to explore new faiths. Now here is the question...
Since we can all agree I can be somewhat high strung.We can all agree so can teenagers or others. What is the best way to debate with my own child or his/her friends without making that parental mistake of saying something that will have them tune me out when they have that"I know better or more attitude."or if they judge me thinking that I haven't looked into things myself. (I used to be real bad about it so I expect it from my kids.) *Laughs*Please be nice and share what you have learned as a parent and a person of your own faith in this situation.If you haven't been there yet how would you do it?TY,GB

Answer Question
 
mo2a27

Asked by mo2a27 at 10:37 AM on Apr. 25, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 1 (-6 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • My children know how I believe and I have talked to them about my faith. As with all things, I am honest with them and I also allow my children to try things on their own. I feel it is not right for me to shove things down their throat. Sometimes they come to me and say "you were right mom" and sometimes they come to me and say "I like it better this way".
    I believe that the more we try to force our children into something, the more it causes them to turn away. I stay on top of my boys, but I also let them learn for themself. I think it is the best experience that they will get in life.
    kscmbz

    Answer by kscmbz at 10:44 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I personally think that when a child decides to look at other faiths outside of their own they are already feeling a little unsure of their path and place in this world. I think it is best not to debate with them. Instead be supportive and listen. I am not christian but you are and your faith is very important to you so just be compassionate and show your child the qualities that make you a good christian and let them do their own discovering.

    Lacymarie

    Answer by Lacymarie at 10:52 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • "Children learn what they live". That is such a true statement. Your children will learn best about God by the way they see you treating others, and how you let God shine in your life. They will see how happy you are,and they will want what you have! I know that's what happened with my children. Once I was saved, and they saw the VERY visible changes in me, they wanted that! That's what led them all to be saved. Not anything I said, but what I DID! Another great thing to remember, one of my favorite verses is: Proverbs 22:6-"Train up a child in the way he should go,and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Just show them your faith, and don't force it,and in time, they will come to love God as much as you do. God bless you sweetie!
    stvmen88

    Answer by stvmen88 at 11:14 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Maybe you could be willing to learn about whatever it is they may want to look into, and then you can discuss (not debate, lol) the commonalities and differences, and what draws him to this other path, and what about Christianity makes him want to look elsewhere. My husband and I don't have the exact same beliefs, but our discussions get so in depth sometimes, and that causes each of us to learn and grow, even in our different ways. So any discussion you have with your child will help both of you grow stronger in whatever you personally believe, because when you open your mind (and heart) the growing is inevitable.
    I honestly do believe conversation is the key - it shows that we're listening and that we understand, and opens the door for honesty and sincerity. And just remember you can't force anything on them, but that doesn't mean that regardless of the differences you might have, you can still be a positive influence!!!
    bandgeek521

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 11:25 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I have two daughters.  A 12 year old (just stepping into the adolescent arena) and a 16 year old (right smack in the middle of the danger zone).  Now I consider myself a pretty good teenager wrangler *hooks thumbs into belt loops* LOL.  The secret to living (happily) with a teenager is to quell rebellion before it begins.


    When our children are young they fit into our mould.  They wear what we buy, they eat what we feed them, they go where we take them.  If that journey of self discovery is stifled then they will rebel.  Let them be themselves, talk to them, listen to them, and don't try to change them.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 11:26 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I believe that religion is a very personal decision.  One must find the path that suits them best.  That is why (IMO) there are so many religions.  There is no way one religion can meet the needs of some many diverse people.


    I am Pagan, my husband is Agnostic.  Many of our family members are Christian (various denominations).  My children will learn about varying beliefs and be encouraged to research so they may find their own path.  I will not debate religion with my children.  I will discuss, tell them what I know and learn from what they have discovered during their studies.

    anetrnlov

    Answer by anetrnlov at 11:30 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Wow i have learned something new from all these answers!

    Thank you for the great advice!!!

    GB all of you! Thank you too.
    mo2a27

    Answer by mo2a27 at 11:43 AM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • My son is only 3, so I still have a lot to learn and experience as far as raising a child...

    I'd like him to share my beliefs... but I also know that he's his own human being on his own spiritual path to enlightenment. When he asks, I'll tell him what I believe about everything. And leave it at that. I won't have to "debate" with him, because I don't believe that he could ever go wrong.
    kimberleee382

    Answer by kimberleee382 at 3:07 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • AND you should know that I DON'T think you're high strung!

    ; )
    kimberleee382

    Answer by kimberleee382 at 3:23 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I agree with those that have said to simply NOT debate with them.

    No matter how a person is raised or what they're taught --- they still have minds of their own. If something doesn't seem right to them, or doesn't feel right, or doesn't make sense, or simply just doesn't "fit"... they will question it & hopefully will discover what DOES "fit" for them.

    It's okay to disagree. It's okay to voice your concerns. But then you just have to let it go -- trust your children, trust you've raised them well, and be proud that you've raised children who aren't afraid to question & discover what's in their own hearts.

    Maybe their explorations will lead them right back to where they've always been. Maybe not. If not, just find something else to talk about :-)
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 10:03 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

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