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are we too old?

i just turned 35 and my DH is going to be 48. this is our second marriage and we each have a child from previous marriage.
we would like to try have one together but all our relatives tell us we're too old and we shouldnt bother.
esp Dh's sister who is a nurse and she's dead against us trying.
i mean who knows if i can even get pg again but are the risks really too high?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:12 PM on Apr. 25, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Anon 12:16... so you're saying it's "inappropriate" to have a baby after 40? What's so inappropriate about it?
    & Anon 12:23... that is the most idiotic statement I think I've ever read on Cafe mom!!! You should just stop talking & move along, your ignorance is showing!

    I had baby #3 at 41 & baby #4 at 42 and both of them are perfect! If you want another one, I say go for it! I'm 44, my husband is 46 and we have a 24, 18, 3 and 2 yr old & we're having a blast with our little ones! And believe it or not, we manage to play with our children just fine...


    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 3:54 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • No, as long as you are under 40, I think it's appropriate.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Uh, first off, just because your SIL is a nurse doesn't make her a doctor, let alone an expert. Ok?

    Second off (and most importantly) It matters NOT what others think. THEY do not choose for you and your husband. DO NOT allow them to tell you what to do.

    If you and your husband want to have a child DO IT. They must accept that the choice is not theirs to make, nor is this choice an extended family debate or discussion.

    Answer by Mangy_Momma at 12:18 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • By the way, I think nature tells us when we're too old. It's called menopause.


    Answer by Mangy_Momma at 12:19 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • There are more risks as you get older but you should talk to your doctor about them. You will probably go through more screenings while you are pregnant such as amniositsis (i'm a terrible speller sorry). Some doctors will encourage that you do not get pregnant after 40 and since you are 35 you're still in the clear. If you want to have a baby both you and your husband should consider getting fertility tests just to make sure that you can conceive. I would say the only thing to worry about is that when your child is 20 you will almost be a senior citizen and you just need to make sure that you can keep up with children since they are a handful (which you already know) But as long as you and your husband want to conceive and you are up to the challenge don't let anyone tell you not to. It's your body and your life and tell your sister in law that it is not really her business :) Good luck!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I always thought 35 and up was too old,bc the babys would have more things wrong w them? Imo yes to me your too old. Ull b too old to run,and play w the kid. But if your ok w someone else playing w your child bc you can't move or if your fine w a baby w a lot of health problems (downs) thn go ahead!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I gave birth to my daughter at the age of 37 almost 38, she was healthy and everything went fine, I did not opt for all the test they want Older women to get like the amnio and stuff but that was my choice.

    If you and your husband make this decision together it should be your decision, not influence by anyone else.

    Good luck hun!

    Answer by Mommy2seven at 1:08 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Wow, anon 11:23. Talk about moron....


    Answer by Mangy_Momma at 1:11 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Personally, I think anyone under 35 is still a baby. **grin**

    No, not too old.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:58 PM on Apr. 25, 2009