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just so sick and tired of this.....

ok so i have an 18 year old stepson who moved in with us when he turned 16 because his mom didnt know how to control him- she had him medicated because she believed he was autistic but he really wasn't- the dr we brought him too said that whatever was wrong with him was more enviromental than mental. So when we moved him in with us everything was fine at first- but things started happening- like things going missing and him all of the sudden having attitudes and screaming and cursing at us- now hes 18 and it seems like he has gotten a few things under control but now all of the sudden things are happening again- like the other day he took his ps2 and his psp (which wasnt only his it was a shared family thing) and he sold it for 30 bucks. he got in trouble for that and we were able to get the ps2 back but the psp had already been resold, then the other night my step daughter was visiting and she came to me and said last night

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Apr. 25, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • cont. ____ snuck out of the house and I was like when? and she said at like 1230 am he snuck out to go to his friends house. so i told my husband and he told him not to do that again....now last night i was up with the baby and around 1245 i heard the front door close- so i looked out the window and sure enough there goes ____ walking up the street with a bag- i woke my husband and told him that he was out there and he goes out to see whats going on- come to find out ____ was out there trying to sell his t shirts- we were like first off why were u trying to sell them when u have money? and second off why would u try to sell them at 1245 at night? so my husband spoke with him and we left it at that- so i just walked in the house about an hour ago from shopping and my kids kept telling me they heard noises in the back yard so i go out to check it out and sure enough theres ____ standing there with a back pack and a duffel bag
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • cont again! lol- so i ask him what is he doing- and hes trying to run away! im just so sick and tired of this mess- and with this crazy behaviour and him smoking weed lately (we know for sure because he dropped a bag of it out of his pockets the other day) and plus his occasional violent out bursts im just not sure we can handle this anymore- i already have 3 kids under the age of 6 and im expecting my next one in june- i do not want to be stressing about this kid bringing bad types into or around the house and i do not like the feeling of always having to lock my stuff up because of the fear of having him steal it and then sell it- i am so fed up and so is my hubby but my mil lives in the appt above us ( we live in a 2 fam house) and shes always coming to his rescue but then later on complains about the burden of caring for this boy- what do u think I should do? I know that my kids come first and i have to protect them.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Show him the door. Enough is enough.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 2:30 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • He needs a job that makes him work alot of hours.. He has too much energy for his own good, he needs a guide or a direction in which that energy is directed towards. Put him to work, give him chores, make him have a lawn business... something..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Honestly, my first reactionis that he's on drugs. He might be selling stuff to get money so he doesn't have to ask you (since you'll want to know what it's for) & so he doesn't have to explain where money he had already (like savings) mysteriously went. Out of character baheaviour, mood swinngs, & selling his belongins sounds like drug use to me. I would try to ask him about it then get him into a rehab; he's young and can turn this around before things really get out of control.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:46 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • OP here- we were thinking it could be drug use but the only thing we think he uses is weed- but i was also thinking that maybe a friend is on drugs and hes doing this stuff for them (hes pretty gullible (sp)) and as for putting him to work- hes still in school during the week and weve been trying to get him in at the home depot across the street from us but he keeps blowing his interveiws- i was just talking to my hubby on the phone and were supposed to be having a family meeting tomorrow (me him mil and ____) and were going to discuss the possiblility of sending him away to a halfway house or boys home for the special ed- i dont know wut else we can do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • He's 18.... kick his ass out. He's not a kid anymore, and if he wants to act like that, tell him to do it somewhere else.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • take himfor a dr apt a check up or something no wrning ahead of time n they can do a drug test to see if there is anything else he is on
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 4:29 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • why can't he live with MIL? It sounds like he may have some sort of personality disorder. Is he is therapy? If he's 18 it's not even running away, it's leaving the nest. Is he in school? If in college he can live in a dorm. Perhaps if he is mentally challenged enough he might want to live in one of those group homes. There are plenty of options. Now that he's an adult maybe mom would want him back.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:48 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • It does sound like he is on drugs. Search his room when he is out. Get him into rehab if necessary. Demand that he get his GED, go to school and get a job; or else he can leave.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:10 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

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