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Help I'm getting older!!

The last twenty years of my life went **ZIP**!! (Snaps fingers) My biggest regret is not having another child. I tried my hardest to create a stable life. But work begets more work. And, I don't want to parent again alone. Well, guess what?! I'm past 40 now. (Where did my thirties go?) At least I can say that all that others my age are going through, I already went through, and I'm also working on a massive project with my own town (the party of the millennium) for economic development. My daughter turned out to be extraordinarily beautiful and talented.

But somehow, inside, I keep focusing on having another baby (which I cannot anymore). I really need to grow up and be thankful for what I have. How can I adjust?

Answer Question
 
BlueSaphire

Asked by BlueSaphire at 2:20 PM on Apr. 25, 2009 in Health

Level 21 (11,698 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • adopt a baby there are so many kids that need a good home!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I barely have time for another child, let alone adoption. My issue is the fantasy of baby making. It's the transition of life, more psychological.
    BlueSaphire

    Answer by BlueSaphire at 2:28 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • OMG really? Yuck.. I could not imagine. Mine are both grown and I am now a grandma. I can barely keep up with those two. I like my life right now.. I can come and go as I please.. never have to worry about kids and it's MY life. I love it. I go tanning, get my nails done, hair done, travel with my hubby. And the good thing is, I am only 42, so I have a lot of time left for ME. Enjoy your time to yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • you have a wonderful daughter. With time you will hold her babies! Just keep that in mind. You did well, keep you sights forward not backward.
    YoungandExcited

    Answer by YoungandExcited at 3:17 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • You're in a great place in your life right now! I know how you feel, wanting another baby, after my second one, I wanted another baby so bad for years but finally gave up hoping for it to happen when I turned 40. At the age of 41 and again at 42, we were surprised with babies! Now at 44, with my 2 oldest being 24 & 18, instead of enjoying an empty nest with my husband, we're tied down with a 2 and a 3 yr old. Believe me, you don't know how good you have it until get what you think you want. I love my children more than anything, but sometimes I feel like I'd go back in a heartbeat and change it.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I can say I share those thoughts like you at times. I loved being pregnant and have 4 wonderful children. I still think about having another one. My husband is (Fixed) so it is not an option to have another one. I have thought of adoption also and have journaled on what this would mean to me being in my early forties.

    Here is what I decided to do about it. Go to the hospital and get approved and help with the babies in the hospital that need to be held and touched even though they can not go home yet. Also decided to go to the home for kids. (care home for kids waiting to be adopted) and donate some time to make a difference in their lives.

    Once out with these kids it takes a short time to realize that I wanted to make a difference and the sweet innocence of a child fills a place in my heart of love and acceptance. I get all of those at home and with my family and at the same time there is never enough.

    Good Luck
    LegacyKimberley

    Answer by LegacyKimberley at 5:11 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Perhaps you could volunteer some time at a shelter, clinic, hospital, or orghpanage where you can help care for babies? I know when my girls were young and didn't have any grandparents I would dress them up and take them to the nursing home I worked at to visit the residents there. Not only did my girls get substitute grandparents, but they also made a lot of lonesome residents so much happier.
    The only other option that worked for me is to become a grandmother...lol...but that one isn't even up to you.
    Big hugs sweetie. ♥
    PrydferthMenyw

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 5:52 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • it's not the baby you are craving, it's the feeling you had when you were younger and had babies. it's ok, it's normal, women also go through this after having their tubes tied. The desire for something they can no longer have. My suggestion, go to the dermatologist and spend a little bit on some facial rejuvenation or botox or cosmetic surgery, make yourself look good baby!! And enjoy your 40's, it has so far been the best time of my life. No kids, no bitchy 20 yr olds to work with, and confidence.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Have you explored opening your home and hearts to a foster child? It sounds like you could make a tremendous difference for a child without a permanent home.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:10 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

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