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Losing a Parent

I am 34 and am at a loss my dad is sick and I am scared and don't know how to deal with it when he does pass awaw.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:28 PM on Apr. 25, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (17)
  • i know how you feel. i just lost my dad in february. be with him as much as you possibly can. let him know you love him and that everything will be fine. it is hard it is very very hard if you need to talk message me please. i still have my bad days especially now that he is gone thinking i didnt do enough and i wasnt there enough. but in the end he knows that i loved him with all my heart and i know he is looking down on me and my children
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 6:33 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • One day at a time. Some days will be easier then others and the memories will always keep him alive. Remember the good and forget the bad and make sure your there to tell him you love him and will see him later. Never say good bye because good bye is forever.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 6:30 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • My husband's mom passed away a little over month ago, was not that close to her, but sounds like you are with your dad. It is a hard thing, take as much time you need with him now, remember all good things if is his time, and mourning time/grieving process depends on individual.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:31 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • i'm sorry mama, take one day at a time. my dad lives in marthas vineyard and i'm way down in south georgia. he visited for a few days for my sons 1st bday. i had an emotional breakdown when he left because we are very close and I dont have the money to see him a lot and if anything were to happen to him (he came close...he's a two-time prostate cancer survivor) I would feel so empty, really unexplainable by words. i'm close to my mom too of course and would feel empty as well (she lives very far away too). but take one day at time and try to focus on the wonderful memories and enjoy these days with your dad!
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 6:43 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Allow yourself to grieve, even now while he is still alive. If he knows that his death is coming soon, maybe the two of you can grieve together. My dad died first, and I was a daddy's girl. I cried every holiday for a long time after he died, because there was such a hole in my life. My mom died just a little over two years ago, and I thought that I was through grieving before she died, but I was wrong. As long as she was here, I could still go see her and hug and kiss on her and comb her hair for her. When she died, I realized that the opportunity to do those things was gone, and I grieved some more. As time passes, the grief dissipates to some degree, but you will always miss them and long to see them. That's why I am so thankful to have the hope of Heaven in our future.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:45 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • I'm very sorry about your father. My dad died in December. All you can do is take one day at a time and try to be there for your mother (or whomever he is leaving behind.) There is no easy way to get through that kind of loss. Don't be afraid to talk about it with those around you. Talking really helps and it is good to remember the good times too, not just when he was sick and at the end. You are lucky that you have an opportunity to say good-bye. My parents lived in NC and I am in Indiana. We went down for Thanksgiving and I am so glad that we did. I said good-bye and so did my kids. It was hard seeing him so sick, but I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
    Marwill

    Answer by Marwill at 6:48 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • If it was me I would turn to God. This is one of those times that I know would be very difficult for me to manage on my own. Hope this helps. GB
    mo2a27

    Answer by mo2a27 at 6:53 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Give yourself time to grieve. Write down your feelings, good or bad...it can help a lot in sorting your emotions out as they will be all over the place.
    Remember the good times, remember to smile.

    Find comfort however you usually do. God, prayer, meditation,etc.

    Know it will take time and dont feel it must be rushed. My MIL passed away 11 yrs ago and my hubby still has moments where he breaks down in sobs. Its alright.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 6:55 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • OP... I am sorry... but as so many others here have said, take it one day at a time and don't be afraid to feel... it's ok to be mad, it's ok to be sad, and it's way ok to cry... hold on to the memories you have and be there for him now...
    My heart felt thoughts are so with you my dear....
    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 7:03 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Oh sweetie I am so sorry. Take time to allow yourself to feel everything. Spend time with your father and be there for him. It will be hard seeing him ill but you won't regret that time with him. I lost my mom a few years ago and I will always miss her. But those moments we spent together are precious to me. Hold on to the moments that you laughed together and let go of any bad memories. My heart is with you. Come back on anytime to cry, shout at us, whatever, we are here for you Mama
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 7:49 PM on Apr. 25, 2009