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Why is most people Always putting down the Mil

I have noticed on here not all but most put down there mil,I have 4sons and one is 22 hes not married and has no kids but does live with his girlfriend.I realize not everyone has a good relationship with there mil.My sons and I are real close and I want to have good relations with there SO. Please let me know the thing that irritate u so I can keep that in mind I don't want to have the title nutty mil lol

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mom2fivekids579

Asked by mom2fivekids579 at 11:21 PM on Apr. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (86 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Me and my MIL are great now! But before she'd always bring up my Husbands ex wife -_- she'd alwaysss get into our business and tried playing Dr. Phil -_- She really thought she was some kind of freaking counselor it was irritating. She wanted to know everything!! but i love her now and she's an amazing woman. My husband talked to her one day and every since, things are awesome!
    WeLuvOurNUGGET

    Answer by WeLuvOurNUGGET at 11:24 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • don't be an over bearing grandma or feed them spaghetti in white shirts. mine ruined two brand new ones from my mother for my son that way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • my mil makes really rude comments about me. saying im too skinny or not skinny enough, or when i was preg, would ask me EVERYtime i saw her.. are you doing drugs or smokeing and drinking?! you better not be! blah blah.... she gets into mine and her sons business about our baby and financial situations, we are very well off, she is sneaky with money shes loud, tells me shes going to take my baby with her to mexico without me... stuff like that... lol
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 11:25 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • well these are the things that irritate me, everyone is going to be diff though:
    1. when my in laws tell me how to do something; child wise, work wise, house wise, i didn't ask for their opinions and they aren't my parents so it angers me more than when my parents do it
    2. when they do the "oh you did a good job with this, but i would have..." on anything from decorations to how i raise my daughter, once again if i wanted your opinion i would have asked couldn't you just leave it as a compliment?
    3. guilt tripping my hubby into doing something for her, and then asking me why i don't get up to get a soda if i ask him to get me one while hes in the kitchen (thats just an example of the situation)
    4. nagging, i can't stand nags at all be it me you are nagging, my dh, her dh..can't do it
    5. my inlaws are racist that pisses me off b/c they say stuff around my daughter and get mad when i take her elseswhere, i don't agree with CONT
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 11:25 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Well, for the most part I get along with my mil except where the kids are concerned. She doesn't listen to anything I say about what I would like her do with the boys. She watches them for us three days a week. I mention a schedule I would like them on (and I am not strict with it, just want some structure so everyday is kind of the same), how I would like their juice diluted, and for them not to be given so much candy. Granted, I guess these are grandparent things that she is doing but I feel that things should be different since she has them so often. But besides that we get a long wonderfully. I know I can go to her for advice or whatever I need. I get along with her better than my own mother. Also, she won't let us pay for childcare, so I just bite my tongue. If it wasn't for my inlaws I don't know what we would do. For the most part they stay out of our business but we know that they are there to help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • CONT
    you & saying that in front of my dd, when my bf is black and she has mixed babies, the last thing i need is dd asking her friend what a nig*** is
    6. telling me how to manage money when you have to borrow it from us
    7. complaining that we "never" visit (18 hr straight drive if we don't stop) but they have never once come to see us if we lived more than 3 hours away
    8. being rude, my inlaws once showed up on my door (one of the 4 times they've visited us in 8 yrs) w/o calling first, we lived 3 hours away, and then wanted to complain that we had money to have a bbq (it was planned 3 weeks in advance and we had about 15 people over) but not to go to a casino with them, then MIL proceeds to stand in the house with her head pressed to my door trying to listen to a convo she was invited to participate in!
    stuff like that, just i guess my advice to you would be, shes not your DD, shes an adult, and if she wants advice shell ask
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 11:29 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • oh My MIL also knocks down me being a SAHM she think i need to get a job work full time and take our 2 month old to the daycare she runs in her home and pay her 800 dollars a month for our daughter....

    she is very greedy with money she says im lazy if im a sahm.... she told me she hated me but would have to deal with me since i was obviously going to be with her son for a while..
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 11:32 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • my mil loved me until the day of our wedding, on that day she started treating me like crap and complaining about everything i do or like or...
    she thinks that i should stop being a sahm and get a job, cuz mom isn't a job its me being lazy (yes i have a college degree that makes me over qualified for walmart, but underqualified for my field) where i would pay more for childcare and gas for the car than i would make at my job.

    basically trust that as a couple they know what they are doing and choosing in their lives are best for them at that time and help them when they ask, but don't tell them what they are doing wrong at all times. treat her like family not like a piece of dirt. if your other family members treat her poorly explain that she is family whether they like it or not. (my step MIL wont stop DH 1/2 sisses calling me that "bitc@#'s son's wife!" we've been together 11 yrs and i have only been called by name 1x
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • My MIL passed before I met my husband, my issue has been with his sister. Instead of addressing issues with me he would seek advice from his sister & never tell me that he was upset with me. So, if your son tells you about issues that he & his girlfriend/wife are going through be attentive in that you hear him out, offer advice, but always recommend that he talk it out with her. Men for some reason fear all serious talks... even if it makes things better.

    Just being nice & welcoming to her is a must. NOT FAKE!!! I had to go through a lot of back stabbing with my husbands family & it just makes the relationship strained.

    =)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • My mil totally is supporting my bil dating the girl my husband cheated on me with. then there is the constantly rubbing in my face her step son and his girlfriend and there baby. her allowing my then 1.5 year old out onto the upstairs balcony unattended and I as came up the stairs I saw my baby climbing through the slats, she would have fallen if I hadn't come up then. My mil never took responsability for that. the constant underhanded snubs. we are not on speaking terms with mil.
    actually I really loved her and looked up to her I had hoped she and I could be friends and that she would be a valuable resource to learn from when I had my daughter. as I really never had a mother around growing up. she just has never liked me. she has never liked any of the girls my husband dated. tried to run them all off.
    hypersquirrel

    Answer by hypersquirrel at 12:04 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

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