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ok this is a little embarassing

my DH, seems to need to inflict pain (i.e. scratching biting, grabbing my neck but NOT actually choking me) in order for him to be able to "finish". i have heard that people that have been abused sexually, or physically can have this tendency. i just dont know how to bring this up to him. any thoughts? BTW: he is not abusive to me at all.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:00 AM on Apr. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • i think it's very common for men to like that stuff :/

    Answer by WeLuvOurNUGGET at 12:02 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • Some like it some don't. It doesn't necessarily mean it stemmed from some sort of abuse in the past. It very well could have, but it doesn't mean it definitely did. If it's something you aren't into you should probably just talk to him and find an alternative.

    Answer by disgustipated at 12:04 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • ummm wow that was something i needed to prepare for lol but i would ask him why he does that or maybe he is just a freak in the sheets

    Answer by tiffandgene2009 at 12:06 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • it is VERY common for men to like that stuff. it doesn't have to have anything to do with them being abused, so I wouldn't bring that up. The #1 question needs to be...DO YOU ENJOY IT? I love being held down or scratched sometimes... but if you don't enjoy it, or feel semi-threatened by need to be able to discuss this with him. I'm glad he's not abusive to you, him liking this in bed is no indication that he'll become abusive either. I would tell him immediately if it makes you uncomfortable or is actually hurting you. He wouldn't want to make you hurt, and I'm sure you guys can find a common ground. good luck! try inflicting some on him. maybe scratching down his back. he may like that too! that way if you're the one inflicting, he can still finish and you don't get hurt! good luck girl!

    Answer by Adeline1210 at 12:06 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • My dh was in no way abused and he loves to wrap a handful of hair and jerk it back while he's biting my neck or something. Massive turn-on for both... because I start biting his neck right back.

    Answer by paralegalmommy at 12:34 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • Lots of men enjoy that without having been abused. It's merely a fetish for them

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:53 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • I have been with my husband for 8 years been married 5 and he too is like that. he isn't abusive at all nor has he been abused. Just something he likes and personally I don't mind it.

    Answer by ladyluck09 at 1:16 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • i don't think it's much of a thing to be embarrassed about, but if you want to get this to his attention, try talking to me, texting him or leaving him a note. when i argue with my husband or have a problem with him i usually write him a note, but usually we text.

    Answer by sherlockhlm at 1:18 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • my fiance does it. i like it tho

    Answer by LotusBlossom21 at 1:19 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • My guy does it and I like it as long as its not too hard. My husband thinks marks are cool and I dont, so all marks must be very easily covered

    Answer by HunnysFarAway at 2:05 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

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