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What are some things to look for when searching for an adoption agency?

In a few years once we're out of the military and settled some place final, we want to adopt. We have on daughter now and another baby on the way. But, we always felt like it was something that we needed to do was to provide a home to a child or two that didnt' have parents of their own to take them in. So, eventually we want to adopt older kids, like between 3 and 9ish, even take in a pair of siblings or something. But, when we do start the process what are some questions I should ask the adoption agency? What are some things to look for that indicate a decent agency or signs to look for that make you not want to use that agency. Thanks!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:17 AM on Apr. 26, 2009 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • You could try LifeTime Adoptions, on their website they mention adoption of older children, but they are a facilitator, and in some states that is illegal. Plus, I know some on here have had bad experiences with LifeTime. Otherwise, your best option is foster care, there are a lot of kids in that age range needing families. You should contact your local welfare office, you have to have a home study done through them and take classes. I wish you the best & if you ever want to chat, just write!
    Christian-Mom79

    Answer by Christian-Mom79 at 8:21 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Anon, I am so profoundly honored, that you and your blessed family...GETS what adoption is truly meant for. It sounds as if you have a great plan, and 2 lucky children will be blessed to have you as their parent. I do not have the patience nor time to be able to do this, for if GOD would have given me the ability, I would do just as you are planning. Adoption is MEANT for children, whom have no choice in their journey, no parents whom are capable of parenting, and or have no place left to turn. Today, couples whom feel they are ready to parent, put thousands of dollars into the purchase of a newborn, from , MOST times young mothers whom are scared, no support system, and are financially in tough spots, not even thinking what these young women will go through. This type of adoption, is MOST times not in the best interest of that child...IMHO! I do not know about agencies....cont....
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 9:08 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • However, I would want to thoroughly check their backgrounds, and never ASSUME, that all they are telling you is the full truth. Check and double check, what it is they say. Medical history is , as you know, and absolut must, but in my opinion,. talking spending time with those children, getting your own, close-up OPINION IS WHAT IS TOP PRIORITY! You sound so wise, and sound like an excellent loving Mother , already...jus common sense, is what will guide you. Blessings to you and your family. Adoption is meant for children whom only wish to be loved....not taken from their parent...from day 2-3-4, this is inhumane to do to a newborn child, IMHO! I am a firstmom,, but too many others have been left with devastating, life altering emotions, as do their children, they relinquished. I hope you get what your heart desires...and I hope those future lucky children, realize, how blessed they will be, and are! Blessings,..C.J.
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 9:14 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • With the kind of adoption you are looking at, it sounds like adopting from foster care. To my knowledge, you would have to contact your local state agency that deals with foster care and foster adoption. Regular adoption agencies only specialize in lying to expectant moms to scare them into giving up their babies to paying couples.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • Adoption agencies do not handle adoption of older children. You should contact your local CPS
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 1:38 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • Ceejay, I was offended by your remark about "purchasing" babies. We cannot purchase human beings. We've had this discussion over and over. Not all of us feel that we could handle some of the extreme difficulties that come with fostering. We did not feel that we were ready to parent older children, having no previous parenting experience. Both of our birthmothers are older than me (close to or over 40 at the time of placement). They were not "young and scared". They are addicts, and they knew how easy it would be to fall back into that, even if they got clean. Before you say that I am calling all birthmothers addicts, please take a moment to re-read what I said and see that I am just talking about OUR new extended family.

    You certainly have a right to your opinion, as do I. I wish you could show more sensitivity in your posts.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 3:29 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • Onethentwins is correct, it is very unusual to find the situation that you are looking for in an adoption agency. (not impossible, but uncommon). Also realize that it will be really difficult to find what you are looking for in foster care too. You might find a child towards the older end of your range but you can almost guarantee they will have several disabilities which may be difficult with the kids you will already have. You can get a placement of a child but it will take years to terminate rights and 70%+ will go back to their parents. If you look on the foster care national website and place your age range you will see what placements are currently available to get an idea.


    Or, you can go back to agency adoption and get beat up but the ignorance of some of the posters above.



    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • >>> Adoption agencies do not handle adoption of older children. <<<


    Yes they do, if they are contracted with the state to do so. It would be one of first questions I'd ask though.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • .....remark about "purchasing" babies. We cannot purchase human beings.....


    Really? well try getting a "dream" baby without paying money to a third party to make it happen. Just because it's whitewashed calling it a "service fee" and the money is paid in a one-lump sum or nickeled and dimmed a little at a time doesn't make the reality of hands exchanging money for a baby any less the human-flesh trade transaction that it is.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:41 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • I asked a birthmom that I am friends with if she was taken advantage of. She said no. She has no regrets. It was hard, she had a very supportive family, and yet she does not think that it is selfish of people to adopt. Not at all. She is greatful for it. It is so refreshing to know this smart, educated, mother, friend, wife (all the hats she wears) is willing to share the truth about her experience but does not think there is a mass conspiracy to steal babies. She find it absolutely absurd that there are women who advocate against infant adoption. She is greatful. And her son is greatful.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

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