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Hubby worls all the time........

My DH works alot with his job and works alot around our house and it seems like he doesn't spend much time with me and my 3 year old. He even said that he doesn't feel like a good dad because of it. If he sees this, shouldn't be do something about it? I told him that he is really going to regret this one day. Anybody else's hubby like this and how do you deal with it?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:59 AM on Apr. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • my hubby is like this. they feel guilty but at the same time believe that the need to "provide" for us is greater than the need to be with us more
    gabenmikeysmom

    Answer by gabenmikeysmom at 9:00 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • FIrst off if he is working and doing things around the house then don't judge him for not being there all the time for your 3 year old and yourself. Maybe you should help lighten his load at home and have things done when he is home or take over so he can have some time with his son. My husband and I take turns with the house work so he can have that time with his daughter as he does work all week long and only see's her about 3 hours a day. Let him have his time and do what you can to free up some of his time for the 3 of you.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 9:01 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • umm if he is working alot around the house maybe you could help him that way it would get done faster and he'd have time to spend with you. he's working not out screwing around with his buddies or getting drunk and neglecting his family help him out and find the time for him to be with his family
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 9:03 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • maybe i should clarify what he is doing around the house. It is more like projects, not just work. Friday he was putting a brick wall around our flower bed for no reason. It has been like that for 15 years! And I had surgery and couldn't lift the 10 lb. bricks! And our yard has to be absolutely perfect, it has to be the greenest and perfectly mowed best in the neighborohood and I just feel like he should just let some stuff go and spend time with his 3 year old. And with his job he travels alot, as soon as he got in town the other day he had to run out and buy some kind of scrapper and scrap this part near our creek so there wouldn't be any weeds and it would look neat! Couldn't that have waited another day??????
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:12 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • let me clarify he is doing things to make your home a home help him he wants things to look good i dont see the problem i wish my hubby would do more around the house. when he is building a brick wall take your son out with him and give him little things to do.be creative. like i said at least he is not running around doing worthless crap and never never never at home
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 9:15 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • Have you ever thought that maybe he has a form of ocd and it just so happens to be his yard. Maybe its a stress reliever for him after all his traveling. Maybe you could just say hey can we go out in about 2 hours and do something as a family. That way he has his time to do what he wants with the yard and you get his time. Ask ahead of time. Does he know you want to do things or do you stay quiet about it and complain about him working on other things. That will get you no where with most men. If he says hey I am going out to do this or that in the yard say okay but here in 2 hours I want us to all go do this or that. Or I was hoping you would take your child out to do this or that so I can have some time alone. make it known, men are not mind readers.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 9:22 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • My husband is the same way. He will always find something to do. Thats just him. He's not doing it to get away from me or our son, he just likes being busy. He can't sit on his a$$ and not do anything. He just wants to work, and make sure things are done, and look nice. I honestly look at it as, its better than him being gone out at a bar or out drinking messing around w/ his buddies. He will stop and take time to spend w/ us, don't get me wrong. But if he can be busy, he will be.
    Tiffany237

    Answer by Tiffany237 at 9:25 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • It sounds like his personality. If he can find a half hour each weeknight and an hour or two on weekends, this would be a good thing and keep him in touch with the little one. Be very glad that you have such a good man and hard worker.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 11:11 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • Like a previous poster said I would have taken your son out there to play by the creek and helped him.So what if the little one got dirty.I wouldn't had put him close to the water but maybe in the middle so you could see him but help.
    preciouschild

    Answer by preciouschild at 1:14 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • at least he is working. my man stays home all the time with our boys because he has no work. i like that he spends time with them but i cant make rent by myself. hes been trying to get work and it feels like everyday gets harder and harder. life is not always fair
    lydiamama

    Answer by lydiamama at 1:27 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

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