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Mandatory divorce education class in kentucky - what would you do? (regarding the class for the kids)

I'm divorcing. In the state of Kentucky you have to attend a mandatory "Families in Transition" class. I have already done this. My dh and I filed for divorce in 2004 and did everything, it was ready to be final when we decided to give it another shot. You see how that ended up lol. Anyway...Now my son is 7. The law here is that kids have to also attend once they are age 8. If the divorce papers are filed with the court before his 8th birthday he dosen't have to attend. His 8th birthday is May 21st. I'm really torn on whether we should hurry up and file so he dosen't have to attend, or if it would be a good idea for him to go. We really have not talked to him about the divorce. He knows his dad is staying at his grandma's house because we fight alot. I would especially like to hear from anyone who has divorced in KY and their child has went thru the class, what they talked about and learned. What would you do? con't....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:36 AM on Apr. 26, 2009 in Kids' Health

Answers (4)
  • I guess my motherly instinct is to protect him from anything hurtful, like a divorce. But it's happening. Would it be better for him to go to a class and learn about it? Would you rather send your child? or hurry up and file so he don't have to go? This may sound kinda strange. I can't even fully explain my feelings.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • I've never divorced in KY, but I'd like to give you my take anyway. As parents, when you're explaining the divorce (I am divorced, btw), you always have to choose your words carefully b/c you're trying to not degrade and demean the other parent, trying to make sure blame isn't be laid and the child doesnt' feel at fault. It can sometimes make it very difficult to explain things fully to the child, b/c there is so much that you have to say "You wouldn't understand" or "It's not your concern" or whatever. I think the class could be very helpful, b/c it's going to be very general, not getting into specifics, b/c it will be for kids whose parents are divorcing for a wide variety of reasons. They may be able to better explain what is happening and what the kids will feel and think and everything than you will b/c you will be constantly second guessing yourself to make sure you don't say the wrong thing. I think it is a good idea.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:30 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • I think that a class like that is an EXCELLENT idea. Too many kids feel like it is their fault their parents divorced, they don't understand what is going on. They are being shuttled between 2 homes, 2 sets of rules. The class would give your son a chance to talk to other kids in the same situation. It would be very general and not specific to any one situation. I think whoever required this class is very intelligent and out for the best interest of kids. Sorry, but I would have him go, it could be a great help to him.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 2:22 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • Amen tropicalmama! I don't think it could be said any better than that.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

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