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What would you do if your S/O wouldn't let your family in the house?

My fiance' hates my mother and father. He says that they can't come in the house, especially when he is here-not even for a second. My mother and father did some crappy stuff to us about a month ago, but it's not my place to dole out punishment and I just want to move on from it all. Besides, no matter how stung I feel about the way my parents treated us, my daughter still loves them dearly and misses them a lot. I have to try to keep up a relationship between my daughter and her grandparents no matter how I feel about them, right? I don't have a car except in the evenings, when he is home, so it's hard for me to even go up to see them at their house. I don't know what to do. I feel like he is trying to drive a wedge between me and my family. What would you do?

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laadeedah

Asked by laadeedah at 2:28 PM on Apr. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • It depends on what they did for him to start acting this way. If he was friendly to them before the indecent then whatever it is must have upset him terribly.


    Can they come pick you up to bring them to their house for a visit?
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 2:30 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • I would be very careful of this situation. I know first hand that abusive relationships start by one person "driving a wedge" befween their SO's family and friends. It's their way of controling you. Please be careful.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • I would never let any man keep me from my family...I think that is the worst mistake a couple could make. See your family no matter what, let them in your house, you live there to so you can make the decision who comes to your house. He needs to get over it, that is your family also. Good Luck. Definitely try to make peace for your daughter.
    pamelajqs

    Answer by pamelajqs at 2:32 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • Well, firstly, if you don't want your parents to be a part of your child's life, they don't have to be.

    I have never understood why people feel that there HAS to be a relationship between children and grandparents, especially if the grandparents' behavior has been less than wholesome.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • It doesn't matter what they did, he should not put a wedge between you and your family and your child and her grandparents. They can always come and get you or their granddaughter. My husband finally disowned his family after 4 years of them non stop bashing me and him and everything in our lives and he dealt with them for 24 years before he finally gave them up. We are happier now but his family did it not us. It takes something serious to ban someone from their home and as long as you live their and their grandchild they should respect the fact they are not welcome and come when he is not around or he should leave if they come.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 2:37 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • Why would you want your children to be around someone who would do something terrible to your family?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • It would depend on what they did. When I'm upset with my inlaws I don't keep my kids away from them. That's childish and not fair to the children. If you got mad at them because they did something to your kids or it was a safety issue, that's completely different.
    If I wanted to see them, then I'd tell him that it's his house and I respect his feelings, but I was borrowing the car once a week or so, to go visit my family.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:49 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • If you don't want to spend the rest of your life like this, then you need to leave. He may get over your parents later but then it will be something else. He is obviously non forgiving too, what if you do something to piss him off, then he locks you out? Break it off!
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 3:15 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • OBVIOUSLY THIS MAN IS VERY CONTROLLING, HE HAS NO RIGHT TO TELL YOU YOUR PARENTS CAN'T COME TO VISIT, I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY DID. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN AND SAY NO! THEY ARE VERY MUCH A PART OF ME WHETHER YOU LIKE THEM OR NOT, AND MY CHILDREN WANT TO SEE THEIR GRANDPARENTS. END OF STORY. IF HE WANTS TO BREAK UP A MARRIAGE OVER THIS, HE IS NOT WORTH KEEPING.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:20 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

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