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Am I expecting too much?

I'm in a long distance relationship that's been going on for a little over 6 months. We've already talked about the future together, but I sometimes feel I'm more committed then he is. He's come to visit several times, but I have yet to go visit him. His reason is finances are low, and he doesn't want me paying for anything when I go visit him. And just when I feel that this isn't going anywhere he says or does something to make me feel otherwise. I tend to overanalyze things, and think with the cup half empty. Is that what I'm doing now?

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Azmom2-2

Asked by Azmom2-2 at 6:51 PM on Apr. 26, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • Give it time - don't rush things or you may lose him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • I'm going to have to say go with your gut on this one! I know that long distance relationships can work but for how long, up to 2 yrs at best with effort(both sides) if relocation has not occured. However the fact that you have never been to his place is sketchy. It could be alot of things, finances like he said, doesn't live alone(not necessarily with a female), lives with parents, or hate to say it but married. Does he call all hours of day and night? If not ask yourself why. Does his friends know about you? Have you had a phone conversation with his parents? If you gotta think about it or ask yourself then move on! Worst case senario: He is married and your his business meeting out of town!!! Good luck and best wishes!!!
    ladyd6280

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 7:04 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • Well we do talk at all hours of the day and night. He is divorced, has been for many years. His family does know about me and the reason I know is cause his neice lives out here where I live and she says everyone knows. She's pretty close to him also. I have not had a conversation with his parents, not directly anyway. I usually talk with him and his mom when we are on the phone together, but she's never gotten on the phone.
    Azmom2-2

    Answer by Azmom2-2 at 7:32 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • Why couldn't you go visit him and stay in so there's no major expenses? It's getting that time of year where things can be fun and low cost, like going for walks at the park, swimming in local lake, nature walks, cooking out on the grill...
    Perhaps he's ashamed of his home? His car? His family? If you're not having a financial problem, then maybe you could suggest that you are coming, you're staying in a hotel so he's not obligated to do or buy anything and see how he reacts. My first thought was that he's got a wife or girlfriend there he's not wanting you to find out about.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:44 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • Give it time. This relationship maybe long distance but it when it comes down to it, its still new. Have you brought up your concerns to him lately? If not ask yourself why.

    mum1

    Answer by mum1 at 11:17 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

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