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How to handle inlaws.

My daughter is 11 months old and ever since birth my in laws have been on my husband and I for everything. They want to give her soda, candy, ice cream, they question why she naps (they think its because we do not want her around them...she is a baby!! she needs to sleep..!) And just recently they have been on us to cut her hair. We tell them time and time again that we don't plan on doing things like that with her until she is old enough and we feel she is ready. But they are relentless and will often get angry with us for not just going along with what they want to do. Anybody ever deal with this before??

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ZOSO

Asked by ZOSO at 6:33 PM on Jun. 20, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 4 (33 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • my mother in law is super crazy!! when my daughter came home from the hospital she insisted that she had a diaper rash...a 2 day old baby????? any way she threw a fit tried to bang down the front door, threatened to report my car stolen if we didnt take her to the dr and almost called cps!!!! the best way i have found to deal with her is to just tell her "it is not you child" and she is not allowed to come in my house either. and btw we did not speak and she was not allowed to see our daughter untill she apologised and it took her 6 months!
    margaretshugart

    Answer by margaretshugart at 6:40 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • Hold your ground, my friend, or the control freaks will try to take over your child's life. Set boundaries and be firm with them.
    ski2dawn

    Answer by ski2dawn at 7:05 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • Nice advice ! As a mother-in-law soon to be a grandmother, I am careful to respect my daughter-in-law. There are important things she needs to learn about, but once I know she has the information, it has to be her call.
    waldorfmom

    Answer by waldorfmom at 7:09 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • Yes I've dealt with this!! You have to set the boundaries. This is your child, not theirs. Your husband needs to sit down with his parents and tell them respectfully that you and he are raising the baby and you are setting the rules for a reason and they don't have to like them, they just have to accept them and abide by them. When my husband finally put his foot down and told his parents to lovingly BACK OFF, that I was doing a good job taking care of Connor and it really hurt my feelings when they criticized me, they finally did let up. After a few years, they've finally respected my mothering skills.
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 8:22 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • She is your child, tell them if they can't respect the way you do things with her that they will only be allow a few short visits a week. And if they still want to run the show stop them from being around her. I know it's hard. But tell them this is how you and hubby want to raise her. Good luck
    christene

    Answer by christene at 9:21 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • great advice...i would tell you the same thing, if your hubby agrees with you. I want to know what to do when hubby is a mommy's boy, and mommy-in-law steps all over wifey??
    x0x0mommyx0x0

    Answer by x0x0mommyx0x0 at 12:40 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

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