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Anyone have a problem with having to tell your 4 yr old over and over to do something?

I am fed up with having to tell her over and over finally I start yelling at her and she still looks at me like I'm NOT doing it. Even getting to the point she is not listening to her dad. NOW he knows what I go through and why I yell so mch through out the day.

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Asked by beyondaprincess at 9:42 PM on Apr. 26, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (10)
  • Welcome to the stubborn stage! Grandma here. We are dealing with the same thing out of the 4 year old granddaughter. My daughter says she can swat her butt 5 times and she just looks at her. She tried me last week when I babysat, too. It just takes consistency and repetition.

    Don't back down.  That's what she's waiting for.    Trust me, this is the time she is learning what she can get away with.

    Good Luck.  Be strong mom!


    Answer by m-avi at 9:49 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • yes, we have to repeat ourselves ALL the time! iv'e noticed that when i insist on eye contact when i am talking to my children, they listen better. i think sometimes we really don't have their attention because they are so busy with whatever they are doing and having eye contact ensures we have their attention.

    Answer by nairda at 9:51 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • at least i now know i am not the only one going threw this my dd will be 4 on wednesday and i tell you what i get soooo fed up telling her over and over and over and over again and she doesn't listen and i to swat her butt and she doesn't care i even ground her from things and she doesn't care.

    Answer by mommy5409 at 9:53 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • I know exactly what you are going through. I have a four-year-old and a five-year-old and they are driving me crazy right about now with the same thing. When I ask them to do something, they either just stare at me like I am crazy or keep walking in the other direction, ignoring me. They do this to the point where I explode and start screaming at them.They also do this to their dad, so he knows exactly what I go through when he is not home.

    Answer by huffmanall4 at 9:55 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • and if you do have her attention and she does not do it, give her a consequence for not doing what she is told. yelling doesn't really help and it scares them...spanking isn't really great either because at some point you are going to have to stop doing it because it can become child abuse (as in the older they get the harder you have to hit them to get their attention).

    i sent my son to hi room until he is ready to do what he is told, or i don't let him do anything else until he does what i told him to do.

    Answer by nairda at 9:55 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • I agree with the above poster. Eye contact and even having her repeat what you said. That way when you follow through with whatever consequence for disobeying, you've told her, you will know and she will too that she understood your request and CHOSE to disobey. Do your daughter a favor and no matter what, always follow through. Consistency is the backbone of effective discipline. Something to think about. Good luck!

    Answer by TessaBianca at 9:56 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • tell her once and then physically get up and make her do it. problem solved. after a few rounds of this she will do it on her own.

    Answer by trepsica at 10:30 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • my 2yr old son is that way but he is getting better at listening...... he is a handful very stubborn and picky! i love him to death tho

    Answer by SofiyaMomOf2 at 3:30 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • In the classroom and at home I use a series of prompts. I tell the child to do something like, "Hannah, please pick up your dolls." I give her a little wait time, then I say,"Hannah you NEED too pick up your dolls." If she still does not, then I calmly walk over to her and say, "Hannah, I will help you pick up your dolls." Then I put my hand over her hand and physically "help" her pick up the dolls. If you do this consistently and they learn that you will come and "help" them and hold them responsible, then they will typically begin doing the task the first time you tell them so that you won't come and help. Also, don't forget to PRAISE,PRAISE him when he does do what you ask the first or second time. Good Luck!

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 4:18 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • I do not repeat myself. They get a "think about it" one minute for every year old they are. I then ask them to tell me why they are sitting there and what a better choice would have been. Stay strong, keep on her, give her a consenquence for not listening each and every time. Now is when she should be testing you and you should be parenting...don't wait until she is 12 to start or she will eat you alive.

    Answer by salexander at 1:17 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

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