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What would u do if your husband cheated?

My husband cheated on me. He didn't sleep with someone else he just kissed her. But he was talking to her and flirting with her for a while (maybe a month) on stupid Facebook!!! It is someone he knew a while ago and became friends again on facebook. We were having some tough times and he said he thought I hated him and needed someone to talk to. So, instead of talking to me, he was talking to some other woman about our problems. I don't know what to do. What would you do? He says hes sorry and wants another chance.....

Sorry about the annomity I am just embarassed that this has happened....


Asked by Anonymous at 10:25 PM on Apr. 26, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • it is very difficult but you can get past it if you really want to (or are committed/mature enough). if he comes clean and decides to work it out, do you think you could trust him again? it will take an effort on his and your part. he needs to be sensitive to your temporary insecurities and that you'll probably be a little psycho jealous for a while but if he can hang in there and be positive it can work out (after all he needs to understand that he need to regain your trust). do you think he is capable of that? if not, move on because it will only get worse and you will become and angry, jealous, bitter bitch and you don't want/deserve that. and i do not believe in "once a cheater, always a cheater" people make mistakes and we are not perfect either. every relationship takes work and sometimes situations like these make our relationships stronger.

    Answer by nairda at 10:53 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • i'd leave. no looking back. i am very intolerant of cheating.

    Answer by trepsica at 10:25 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • My husband has cheated and I have cheated on him. We choose our marriage and to get past it. We were young and unaware of the real world when we got married and we both messed up and we fell upon bad times in life and in our love and we messed up. We were honest with each other and its been 6 years since it happened. Make up your mind and if your going to get past it then do it and make him end his talks with her and let her know she needs to get out of your lives.

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 10:28 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • I agree with trepsica. I have absolutely NO tolerance for cheating. And even though it was just a kiss...there is usually meaning behind a kiss...more so than with sex. So if it were me I would leave. I believe ppl who love eachother don't cheat on eachother whether there are problems in the relationship or not. And in my previous relationship experience...once a cheater...always a cheater.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 10:28 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • I agree with PP. I wouldn't put up with it. He's trying to get you to sympathize with him by saying "i thought you hated me.." wahhh poor baby. So he goes and cheats on you? And just kissing? That just means next time it'll be a little more..I don't want to sound mean, I'm not trying to at all but I don't think anyone should put up with that crap, I believe "once a cheater always a cheater"

    ~It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this~

    leave him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • It's a very hard thing to get over so...most likely you won't , it will keep coming up somehow and you will not look at him the same. I think when someone cheats in the relationship things won't ever be the same if you two were already having problems before he cheated it won't get any better now. I would think long and hard... you could forgive him and not get back together with him. At the end of the day it is your choice you have to live with your decision.

    Answer by geminisummerz at 10:30 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • how did you find out about it? did he tell you, if he told you and wants to try to work through it and you do as well than you can try. at least that way you know that you tried and didn't just run right away. i would personally probably try to work through it if my husband wanted to, if he didn't well then there would be no point in trying to work things out.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 10:32 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • i believe once a cheater always a cheater. there are other ways to cope with marital problems than flirtation, online or not, and physical contact with someone else. and for all you know she might be on his list for next time y'all get in an argument

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • It depends on how much you love him and want the marriage to work. It also depends on how hard both of you are willing to work to make the marriage continue. I wouldn't automatically walk away from the relationship. Try marriage counseling.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:34 PM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • Once a cheater is not always a cheater. I cheated one time and one time only just like my husband and that was 6 years ago and we have not cheated since. You wouldn't feel the same if it was you making the mistake. Mine was only a kiss as well and so was his and we both screwed up and as adults we got past it. Mistakes are just that and it doesn't mean you can never change.

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 10:35 PM on Apr. 26, 2009