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so there is only one problem

Like I just posted I am pregnant (with my second child) and I am beyond excited. Well my cousin just had a baby a month ago, and she will think I did this "just because she did" and my other cousin just had a miscarriage (passed the baby tuesday) and I dont want to hurt her by being pregnant. Should I wait to tell everyone? I am excited and dont feel I should be ashamed, but what would you do? Im not too worried about my cousin that just had a baby, she will live. but my cousin who just miscarried makes me feel bad....

Answer Question

Asked by Mikayla_lynn at 2:09 AM on Apr. 27, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 17 (3,452 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I would keep it to myself for as long as I could. The cousin who just had a miscarriage will not want to hear how happily excited you are. Give her a couple of months.
    The cousin who just had a baby need to have her time of glory and spotlight. It would seem that the best thing for your family is to keep it quiet.

    Answer by Nathskitten at 2:16 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • just be not too perky!

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 2:16 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • I should have said that you should feel so happy and that is your right! I was so happy each time I got pregnant. I can't imagine not being able to tell everyone I know. But people do it all the time. I do suggest trying to wait to tell your family.
    My dh'd cousin found out she was pregnant at the same time as us. She had a miscarriage when we had our almost three year old and hasn't been able to conceive since. I feel terrible when I am around her because we have since had another baby who is 15 months.
    It is a hard place you are in. I am sorry.

    Answer by Nathskitten at 2:28 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Its tough and not fair but they're your family right!? So tech speaking they sould be happy with you just as you were sad and happy with them(however this is not a perfect world), so use your own descretion. My sister and I were pregnant at the same time not once but 2x's! The first one all was fine we both gave birth to healthy boys 9 days apart. However when my son was 13.5 months he passed. To this day it hurts to see my nephew but I don't love him any less!!!! But I would wait until your showing to tell them about the baby, let them notice and bring it up. I respect that you put your happiness aside long enough to think about them and there feelings!!! You will be fine. Good luck!

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 2:29 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • I went thru this w/ this pregnancy. I was so excited obviously, but it happened w/ in our first month trying. I felt bad because my SIL tried for a year w/ her DD who is now 8 months. We also have friends that lost their little girl who was almost a year in March of 07. I know they were trying for a second one, and still are. I felt bad telling them, but in all honesty yes it is hurtful to them, but they handled it very well and still were very happy for us. I think its just best to be honest w/ them and telling them right away they will appreciate that a lot more. congrats and good luck.

    Answer by Tiffany237 at 8:06 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • My SIL evidently started trying to have a baby about a month and a half before we did and we found out she was pregnant in October. Then I found out I was pregnant in December. I didn't feel bad at all about telling her. I wouldn't worry about the cousin that just had a baby. If she is upset, too bad so sad. The other cousin, though, that's tough. Honestly I don't know what I would do. Probably tell her myself up front and not be all excited about it in her face.

    Answer by Christina807 at 8:55 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • I found out that I M/C and 3 days later we had our family Thanksgiving where my cousin announced her pregnancy (which I knew about) She asked me if it was OK before she did it, which I was thankful for. I wanted her to have her joy. I think if you take to your cousin that lost the baby in private first it would be better then to tell in a group. Also, I wouldn't worry about the cousin that just had the baby.

    Answer by Mommy_Foster at 4:28 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

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