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how do I tell him?

I don't think my child's father is cut out to be a dad. He says he loves our son and has always wanted kids, but when he first found out we are expecting him (we didn't plan him), the first word out of his mouth was "abortion". well now we are going through it all again because of another "oops" and of course his first word again was the A word again. I could pass the first one of as first time jitters and he was scared. but now I'm starting to think our relationship is doomed.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:28 AM on Apr. 27, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • Well, how old is your 1st child- how good of a relationship does he have with that child? Is he a good dad to your 1st child? If he is not a good dad to the 1st it might be a good idea for him to enroll in a parenting class. If you want to stay in a relationship with him counseling might be a good idea. If you do not want to keep the relationship going then my suggestion would be to consult a lawyer, find out your rights (and your children's rights) and see what your options are. I wish you luck and hope everything works out!

    Answer by MizLee at 10:11 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • tell him you are having a baby, with or without him.

    Answer by julie.r0cks at 9:07 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Sounds like he knows you cannot afford or handle another child. So all the moms who have had an abortion or initially thought about them are not mother material. I would talk to him about it instead of thinking of ways to take his kids away from him which I am sure is your thought process. If he loves you child you have now and cares for him he is father material. Be an adult and talk to him about this don't make assumptions.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Wow, a child is an OOPS. Have you ever ben responsible enough to commit to a birth control regimine? Why do all these mothers (I am sure young) get pregnant "on accident" I was single for many years and had lots of sex and NEVER had an "accident" until I was married and planned it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • One oops is given to every person. After that, its not an oops anymore. Its ignorance. Now, having said that, you have another baby coming and you must grow up and take care of these children. You can only make that choice for you. Sure it would be lovely to have him join you, but youre probably right. Hes not ready and is probably having a lot of fear about how to afford these kids, much less actually be a father. A lot of young guys go through this. They either own up to it and grow up with the kids or they run. I would pray he does the former and not the latter. I would sit down and talk to him about what hes feeling and thinking and make a plan. He probably just needs some guidance. After the two of you get on the same page about parenting...then find a reliable birth control and start using it. Good luck.

    Answer by momofsaee at 12:19 PM on Apr. 27, 2009