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What can I do about smokeing in my house?

My father in law just got released from the hospital and is comeing to live with us , he cant live on his own , and has a serious drinking problem , that landed him in the hospital , he swares he wont ever drink again , but weve herd that before , anyways my question is when should I cave in , I demand no smokeing in my house , but Dads a smoker and he doesnt get around well , my husand says what ever Dad does in his room is his bussiness , but the man chain smokes!!! Where should I draw the line? He says he loves the kids as he lites one up in front of them , Im running out of ideas and I really bothers me when Im in my home and can smell smoke , yet my husband just wants to make it work so that he will be happy here any advice from women who have delt with this kind of situation b4 ?

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Asked by melissa33181 at 9:34 AM on Apr. 27, 2009 in Health

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Answers (40)
  • Have him go outside. Although your husband is right that he should have privacy in his room, it is still your house. I don't smoke and my husband very respectfully smokes outside. And when we have company, whether is just for the afternoon, or its for a few weeks I expect everyone to smoke outside. Maybe having to go out will help decrease his smoking.

    Answer by Crystal1124 at 9:37 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Ummm... It is YOUR home and your husband needs to back you up and make it clear that smoking is to be done OUTSIDE and outside only! I have dealt with this issue with my rude MIL (thank goodness she does not visit often at all) and my husband stood up and told her off when he busted her smoking in our bathroom. She just has no respect for others. It is absolutely your choice as to whether or not you will allow smoking in your home and your husband should be on the same page from the moment your FIL comes to stay with you so there are no mixed messages at all! Good luck!

    Answer by KTMOM at 9:41 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Set a chair outside the front or back door and have him go outside. Your house, your rules. If he wants the cig bad enough he'll do it.

    I'm firm about no smoking in my house. I don't care who you are, it's not gonna happen!

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 9:42 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Outside and that is not a request that should be a demand. You are taking this man in who has a problem and he will drink again because by your post it sounds like he isn't getting help. Even if it is just in his room it is still in the air and every time he opens that door it goes into the rest of your home. I would say no about him living there but that's just me. There has to be a line drawn somewhere and I think this could hurt your family in the long run.

    I don't have experience with an alcoholic but a crack addict.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • No you dont give him. You let him know he will go outside and you will help him as you don't want the smell in your house, on your furniture and you don't want to breathe it in or your children. Its your home and he is a guest in your home so he should respect your rules in his room or not. We have it as a standing rule in our home as well, if you smoke you do it outside and throw the butts in a can and not my yard. If you give in on the smoking it wont be long before you give in on getting him a drink and drinking and smoking go together if he has a problem with it.

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 9:44 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Tell him he can smoke outside ONLY or he can go live in a nursing home.

    It is your house, he's already inconviencing your family by living there, he shouldn't expect to smoke/drink also. You guys are the ones opening your hearts and home and are going to have to adjust to him being there..

    Plus if he smokes in that room he it will leak out.. and it will ruin that room. Don't let him ruin your house by doing thaT!

    Answer by amy31308 at 9:53 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Whats the big deal about letting the guy smoke in his room? its going to be nice out. You could easily put one of those fans in the window that you just flip a switch and one way the air goes out and the other way the air comes in. as long as hes got the air flowing out and hes smoking by the window, you wont even know he's smoking. all the smoke WILL go right out the window. my fiance use to do it in our old apt because i didnt want my bedroom to smell like smoke, and if we just got done having sex and he didnt want to get dressed or whatever, thats what i made him do. it works fine. the smoke doesn't linger or anything. it really does work!!! and when hes not smoking he can have the air blowing inside so that he can have fresh air. if its hard for the man to move, dont make him move. you honestly wont smell it at all! at least give it a try first!!
    ask him for a cigarette, take it into his room and try it first. you will see

    Answer by mommykayti at 9:55 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • The big deal is, because it's her home and it is a health hazard and she does have children to think about. Why is that so hard to comprehend?! Fan will not help that much plus it will turn your walls yellow, gross.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • CONT.
    what i mean! i swear! (dont like smoke it yourself lol but just light it and let it sit in an ashtray that cost less than a dollar at walmart and watch the smoke go outside) and also, making him smoke outside or not smoke at all or whatever, what if that stresses him out enough and he wants a drink again? then what? thats not putting water on the fire, just adding leaves. you want to make him comfortable without endangering you or your kids. this is a way to have everyone get what they want.
    good luck and i hope this helped!!

    Answer by mommykayti at 9:58 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Well, I agree that smoking is disgusting and smells terrible. I also agree that he should go outside to smoke, especially since you have kids in the house.

    HOWEVER....You need to respect your husband's decision. You can respectfully appeal to him with logical solutions and reasons for your opinion, but in the end, it's his decision.

    Answer by fluud7 at 10:00 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

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