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What would you do if your Husband said these things?

Ever since our Daughter was born, me & my husband has fought more than usual. In the beginning I had PPD with no Health Insurance to get help, he didn't understand what I was going through. 2 days ago we got into an argument due to the fact he spent $20 on a computer game, then another $50 on a DVD set. We have been strapped for money here recently, my dad has cancer and my parents stay at our house on and off due to the canacer treatment center is here. We got into an argument yesterday because of him spending money on things we DO NOT need, It seems as if he thinks its okay to get money from my Dad when we need gas and etc. It's really starting to burn me up, he had enough NERVE to say that my parents didn't have much because they live in a Trailor. Their from a very small town that doesn't really have much and their are no jobs there. I'm starting to feel I can't get past these things he is saying......

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sexylilme09

Asked by sexylilme09 at 12:10 PM on Apr. 27, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • What's even worse....My family was offering to celebrate his birthday, because we have a family reunion on the same day. He told me yesterday, if they got him a cake he would throw it. What is going on??? I think I'm going to end up leaving him. I try to talk things out, but with him it gets worse and worse. I think i'm seriously about finished. He made a comment to me that if our relationship ever got to the point of needing counceling, it was over.
    sexylilme09

    Answer by sexylilme09 at 12:13 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • What would I do? I'd grab him by the scruff for a long chat about real responsibility, what it means and how he really needs to be taking life more seriously.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 12:14 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • He is also from the same Town that me & my family are from, I don't see how he has any room to talk.....
    sexylilme09

    Answer by sexylilme09 at 12:14 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • I mean..... I can't even look at him the same way. His dad is in jail and his mom is on drugs, my family has done EVERYTHING for us. His grandma will help every now & again, but nothing compared to what my family has done. And, he goes and talks down about my family....
    sexylilme09

    Answer by sexylilme09 at 12:16 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • I'm at the end of my rope.....
    sexylilme09

    Answer by sexylilme09 at 12:17 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Wow, that's awful! My husband would never do that, it would probably be me that spent money on things we didn't really need. If I were you I would get a sitter for your daughter and go on a walk or a drive somewhere. If it's nice you could pack a picnic. Anyway, then just calmly explain what you're upset about, use "I" language like; "I feel like you don't care about our family, or about my parents. When you buy things I feel we don't need, I feel like you care more about yourself than me or the baby. I just want us to work through this and get along." etc. Tell him what you're worried about, that spending money on DVDs and video games means less money to spend on diapers or food. Maybe he's having a hard time adjusting to having your parents at your place off and on. Maybe he's insecure and is spending money to feel alright? Get to the bottom of it before it gets the best of your marriage.
    ACL2007

    Answer by ACL2007 at 12:19 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • He's going through something and is acting out in a nasty way! I would attempt 1 final try at talking to him!!! If you can not get through to him, cut your losses an focus on your sick dad! The fact that he can ask a sick man for money is beyond me(I never got it, my aunt asked my grandpa for $ after his stroke, mind you we couldn't find her til the next day, and she didn't help him!). Best of luck, and best wishes to you and your family!!!
    ladyd6280

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 12:30 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • I would not let him talk to me like that. Don't give up. Try to talking to him without arguing over anything. Tell him what you wrote here. It is hard to have your in-laws around but he has to realize what your father is going thru. It doesn't matter what they live in! And if money is tight then he shouldn't be spending for those extras he doesn't need right now. Unless, he wants to end up living in their trailor by spending on those items. Why is he being suck a baby when it comes to the cake thing? It sounds like they are trying to be nice about his birthday.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Okay that is just wrong. My husband would never say those things. I could never imagine anyone who loved you would ever disrespect you or your family like that. I would just simply ask him whats going on see if he just isnt in it and thats his dumb way out or maybe he is depressed and needs help then he can talk to someone and maybe do some counseling. I hope it all works out and good luck hun.
    Nikky0803PAG

    Answer by Nikky0803PAG at 12:37 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • My Dad has worked at the same Grocery store for 30 years of his life and has worked very hard. He started a new job almost 2 months ago, he says its stress from the job & bills. He isn't around when my family is here half of the time, he is at work. My parents stay 2 nights with us, they are here everyday, but he isn't here when they are. My parents live in a Trailor, It's not like it's trashy or anything. A trailor is the same as small apartments, so I don't see how he can say anything. My family has bought everything for our Daughter, they gave us $500 to help us get a car, my DAD even co-signed. Still..... No respect! You can't talk to him at all. When you do, he says he is getting madder and madder.
    sexylilme09

    Answer by sexylilme09 at 12:42 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

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