Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

i seriously dont know what to do

I have been with SO for 5 years. When our DD was born he BEGGED me to stay home until she is at least 2 so i am. I also just enrolled in school since hes home in the mornings he can watch her (this he also pushed me for) well im getting so mad. He DOES NOTHING when i am at school and until he goes to work he doesnt clean, cook, laundry NOTHING. But as soon as i get home (ps its beautiful today and i wanted all of us to take DD to the park) he goes im going golfing be home later and leaves. Doesnt ask if ihad any plans meanwhile i have been up since 4am cause dd couldnt sleep!!! Its such crap and i dont know what to do. He said he wants to spend his days off doing what he wants....so does that mean he doesnt want to spend time wiht us. This is the second week in a row he went golfing and we are so broke!!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Apr. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Figure out the best way to phrase it so that he doesn't get defensive and let him know how you feel. Chances are he just doesn't get it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Words directly from my husband's mouth: Men are stupid. Sometimes you have to hit is over the head and tell us EXACTLY what is wrong.

    Sit down with him, tell him exactly how you feel and express to him that you want to spend time with him, that time as a family is important.

    Tell him that you need some help around the house as well...
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 1:54 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • hmmm...if he works for the money than why can't he go golfing ? my BF works for his money so when he goes to the studio (which is onlt 50-100$) i don't mind...my BF doesnt have to cook,clean,ANYTHING...all i ask is him to clean out his pockets of his jeans bc when i hang them up everything falls out lol ... sometimes when i have 2 million things to do before bed, i do get mad and make comments about not helping...but i take them back because im the mommy and the girlfriend , its my job to take care of the house (even when i do find a job - which is soooo freakin hard right now , living somewhere that NOWHERE is hiring - he still will not have to do anything) when people find out that i do and what he doesnt do lol ,they start yelling at him, than yell at me when they find out its me and not him. his guy friends are jealous and the grls look down on me..his family hates it..but all he does is take care of the baby from when he
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • CONT ...
    gets home at 4:30pm ... till 12:30-1:00am when she goes to bed .. thats it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • good for you but you still didnt help the op....take the stick out of your butt
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • hmmm...if he works for the money than why can't he go golfing ?
    for the time being shes a sahm ... she should do things that come along w/ it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Sit down and show him the budget. Apparently he's not getting it. If he still doesn't get it then you two need to sit down and do the budget together. Set aside some money for his "hobbies" and your "hobbies". Get out the calendar and set off a date that YOU are going to do something for yourself and keep that date and keep reminding him that you've made plans for yourself. Also let him do the same. You should have one day a month and he should have one day of month until the money situation is better. Also make a family day and write it down.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 3:14 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • We both work outside of home. My husband is the same way about his days off.And some weekends he doesn't do much because as he puts it "It's my only time off".Men are selfish that way.They know we moms will step up because we are moms.You could still try to talk to him.I hope it works for you.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 4:08 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Yes I agree with you evelyn. My husband is the same way. we both work, and even though I would LOVE to have some me time. he is the one that ends up going fish and hanging with his friends while I spend time with our daughter. It gets a little frustrating sometimes, but I guess I wouldn't change it, I love being her mother. And men know that they can do what they want and the child gets food, clothes and love, and they don't have to stick around and waste the nice wheater to make sure it's done. the other way around I would be calling every 5 seconds to make sure he was feeding our daughter and that she hadn't choked to death while he was watching TV. : )

    Men are men, and if he makes the money its hard to stand up and tell him not to do something he has worked for. My husband does what he wants and he has his own money. I work for what I want and I have my own money. it is what it is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:21 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN