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9 years and counting

My family has totally ignored my husbands birthday ever since we got married almost 10 years ago.Not once has he even recieved a happy birthday,much less a card or gift.My husband is my mom's only son-in-law,and his birthday lands on her brother's birthday,so not so easy to forget.She'll mention that it is coming up,then nothing.There is no adimosity[sp?]between them,so that's not it.My husband is the nicest guy ever!How would you approach this?It's coming up soon-June 4th.

 
TMJ121099

Asked by TMJ121099 at 5:28 PM on Apr. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Level 7 (186 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • You can't change your family. I had the same issue with my mom and my hubby for several years. There wasn't open anamosity but my mom in some ways resented my husband for taking me away from her. I spoke to her about how much it hurt him but it didn't change for many years. The only thing you can do is make your husbands birthday as special as you can, make sure he knows that you love him above all.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 5:32 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Invite them over for Birthday Cake.
    Kiter

    Answer by Kiter at 5:31 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • some families just don't acknowledge bdays. does every one else get something on theirs? if not its a family thing and there is nothing you can do, if so then i would maybe mention to your mother in law, hey his bday is coming up, wondering if you planned on getting him anything? i'm thinking of doing this...and just seeing what she has to say
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 5:31 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • some families don't do inlaws birthdays. get over it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • My husband's father is like that with me. He likes me but he just doesn't acknowledge my birthday. It's so strange. He is one of those types that doesn't think family is that important though. He barely sends our son anything for his birthday. We don't get mad at him anymore, we just accept that is how he is. Have you ever asked your mother why she doesn't send him a card or something? Just be direct about it. You don't have to be mean, just ask why she doesn't do anything. Maybe she didn't realize she should be.
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 5:33 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Birthdays are a big deal to the family.My family will send crap to nieces and nephews they've never seen[and never will]but will deliberately exclude my hubby.When it comes to a few of us,they suddenly get forgetful,or become broke.My philosophy is you know what day it is,you make an effort to get something ahead of time,you don't wait until its the next day.If its important,you will find a way to remember.If you're forgetting every year,its deliberate.
    TMJ121099

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 5:43 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • in all these 9 yrs have you ever asked her why she never sends a card to your husband?

    Does your husband get upset by it?

    I think you just need to get over it- move past it. You can't change people and you know she's like this, so it's not a suprise anymore. no sense in letting it bug you each year.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:48 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Just come out and ask her why she never gives him a card, or anything. My mom sends us like $10, not much. Even to my husband. He laughs about it, but his mom doesn't send any money. She does send cards though.
    Just ask her, maybe she thinks he wouldn't want one?
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 5:51 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • There is no sending,we live 3 blocks from her!We talk almost every day,there is no miscommunication.
    TMJ121099

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 6:01 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

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