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How do I deal with This?

So I have my 2 year old son, im 7 months prego, and i take care of my 17 year old sister. all on my own. I have so much stress going on already, but Everytime someone needs help im the first to jump...ok to the problem... lol
My exs half sister moved to modesto and was staying with a friend of mine, well she ended up getting into drugs, so she went into a rehab program. was there for 3 weeks and checked herself out. I want whats best for her, and since i saw a positive change in her just in that time, she is now staying with me also. Shes 18 but has the mentality of a 16year old. rebellious and troublesome. i love her, and i dont want to kick her out or give up on her...but how do i make it clear to her that i mean business this time? im not going to have her around my kids if shes going to make stupid decisions...but i dont have the heart to do much about it.... agh.BTW everyone else in her family has already given up on her

 
trystons_mommy

Asked by trystons_mommy at 6:49 PM on Apr. 27, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,507 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • tell her she will be given four random drug screens a month. she can come and go as she pleases but she needs to get a job, and keep it, even if its only part time. pay at least 100 bucks for rent and or food and if you want extra for food fifty sounds sufficient. she WILL have a curfew and she needs to ask if its okay to stay out for the whole night. i would say midnight during the week and two am for friday and saturday. tell her you have children and they WILL come first. if she messes up, shes out. maybe give her a three strikes and your out type thing. tell her she can't communicate with her old "friends" anymore because you dont want her in trouble. add or remove whatever you want. but this is just an idea of what you could say and do. she needs boundaries set. if she cant follow then shes out. good luck to you and i hope she can stay clean!!!
    mommykayti

    Answer by mommykayti at 7:04 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • I am all she has left- besides her old druggy friends...... PLEASE ANY ADVISE IS APPRECIATED!!
    trystons_mommy

    Answer by trystons_mommy at 6:50 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • sit down and talk to her as a friend. tell her you love her and want whats best for her, but your kids have to come first. tell her what the criteria is for her to stay with you (get a job, meetings whatever it is) and if she follows those and stays out of trouble she will be ok. if not than you won't be able to allow her to stay there anymore. if she really wants to clean up her act you will be able to tell she is really trying. if not, than you are just wasting your time, no one can really help her until she decides she wants to take the help offered
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 6:53 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Your children come first! She's a legal adult. If she doesn't obey your rules, you need to put your foot down or she's out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:55 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • if you haven't already, you should sit down and go over your rules for the house she's living in. tell her she has to make some positive steps forward like getting a job or completing her GED if she doesn't have her high school dipolma and if she wants go to a community college. tell her how you want her behavior to be around your kids and what's expected of her in certain situations. if you come to her first with all this, then she has choices to make. either live by your rules or move out because she's of legal age to do so without parent's permission. let her know your not trying to give up on her...your trying to moivate her to do something for herself. and see what happens
    MommaSyrup07

    Answer by MommaSyrup07 at 6:55 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

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