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my daughters step~dad

my boyfriend has been in my daughters life for over a year and a half now but we have two totally different parenting styles he is more aggresive no matter what she does he gets upset really easy with her and no matter what i say he doesn't get it but he also loves her very much and does sooo much for her but he just gets upset sometimes how do i tell him shes my child so its my style of parenting but nicer???? she is getting way too confused and it causing her to not listen and act out

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maryjoan2157

Asked by maryjoan2157 at 7:52 PM on Apr. 27, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (22)
  • That is not his child and he should not be the disciplinarian. you should be. End of story
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:53 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • He is not her step-father, you are not married to him. He has no say--you are the legal parent. It is your doing if he thinks he has a say. Where is her biological father, and if he's around what does he say about this? Do you live together? If so, you need boundaries real fast. Your child comes first--always--before a man. You need to totally communicate with him, fast, furious, and clearly. Your child is acting out--asking [you] for help.

    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 7:57 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • I agree it's your job to discipline her not his.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:00 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • It is not his job, my DH is my sons step dad and that is it. All the decisions and discipline are made by me. He supports me no matter what. It is to hard for the child for it to be any other way.
    dillonsma

    Answer by dillonsma at 8:17 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • A. That is not her step dad and B. tell him to back the F- off her. If he can't respect that then you need to make a choice- who is more important your daughter or him?
    ZaTa

    Answer by ZaTa at 8:17 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • her biological father hasn't seen her since she was 3 weeks old and i had to force him he his giving up his rights we are in court and my boyfriend has been around since6 months old hasn't left her side once i know all this stuff and when i do say something it causes a problem i dont want to hurt him but i know he cant hurt my baby (whats DH) he also has a problem because i have a problem disiplining my daughter but his way is just to hard on her
    maryjoan2157

    Answer by maryjoan2157 at 8:51 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • I agree that he is not her step father and should not be the disciplinarian in her life.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:53 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • So if you can't disipline her and you don't want him to , will she just be left to herself? If he has been doing this all her life it will be hard for all of you to change. I say sit down and discuss your diffrent type of disipline skills and try to meet in the middle. I have never let a man disipline my children though, father or not.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 9:33 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • OK as much as you want him to be an active parent he is your boyfriend not her father and if his intentions are to be her stepdad then he has to be a parent and be with you and come to point in between that you are both agreeing to the proper way of raising your daughter.Your not wrong you are her mother and you are protecting your child .Just say I KNOW YOU LOVE ME AND HER BUT LET ME HANDLE THIS .He will feel shut down because your taking away his authority but reallity is he doesnt have one yet .He has to earn it from your daughter and then you .And if over repremands her she can start fearing him instead of respecting him
    hush84

    Answer by hush84 at 9:57 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • I ahve been with my boyfriend for 2 years, and I let him discipline MY 2 year old son. If he does something I dont like, i let him know. You just need to come up with a way to get him to understand that even though he loves her, he needs to be careful about hoe he punishes her versus how you punish her. I believe you guys need to sit down and talk about the best form of discipline that you both agree on. Just because he is not her "real daddy" or her step dad doesnt mean that he shouldnt be able to discipline. She needs to learn to respect him too, in case you are not there one day (if you had an appointment or something) Trust me. BLOOD IS NOT AN EXCUSE!!! ♥LOVE IS♥
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

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