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Custody Battle Help

My BF often threatens to seek partial custody of our son when we fight (& I threaten to break up w/ him.) He thinks that if we break up, I'll try to keep his son from his, which isn't true at all. I'd be fair & let him visit whenever. The thing is that my mother & I pay for every expense for our son. Insurance, food, toys, diapers, etc. We have WIC using the address @ my BF's parents' from when we thought we'd be living there. (It's in a diff city & I haven't gotten it transferred yet. I don't even know if I can.) So if we break up, I don't know if he'd call the WIC office just to spite me. My BF doesn't have a job. He shares a dirty, gross, smokey room w/ a friend. They drink there & have band practice, so he doesn't even have a place he could keep our son even if he did seek joint custody. Nor could he afford to support our son. I'm afraid he'll ask his parents for help & make up lies about me. What should I do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:57 PM on Apr. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • CONT:
    I want to break up w/ him, but I don't want to go through messy court BS. I wouldn't even want to collect child support. He can't even afford court costs! I think his parents would believe him if he made up lies about me & they would help him. He doesn't support our son financially. He hasn't even bothered looking for a job. He's an awful person. I want out so bad! I am just afraid of what he might do. How can I escape this relationship w/o having my son being used as a pawn?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • First of all, you need to change the address for WIC like tomorrow. All those forms you filled out were legal documents and by not living at the address, it's fraud. Did he sign the birth certificate? If not, then he doesn't have any rights to the child at all. If he did, then you simply need to go to the court house and file for full legal and physical custody. If he wants visitation you can try to work something out or take it to court. Most of the time you don't need a lawyer for visitation cases. Also go to child support enforcement to get child support set up. If you don't want child support, then you won't be able to collect WIC or any other assistance for your son and yourself if he's name is on the birth certificate. If he does take you to court for custody then call your local legal aid office.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:06 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Just bc he doesn't work now doesn't mean he wont' work someday. File for child support. It will accumulate arrearage and he'll have to pay. Think of it as money in the bank being saved for the child's future. When he does get a job then the money is there for the child. Now fix the WIC stuff and quit worrying. If he can't afford a lawyer to get custody then he's just blowing smoke like a lot of men do to control women.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:57 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • I agree with all three. You will not get in trouble it you go ahead and fix the wic this week. Next file child support. You will need it for the future. He cannot take your child he is just bluffing. God bless.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 9:23 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • He can sue for joint custody...and win...but don't let that stop you from moving on with your life if that's what you want. Don't let him control you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • "My BF often threatens to seek partial custody of our son when we fight (& I threaten to break up w/ him.) He thinks that if we break up, I'll try to keep his son from his, which isn't true at all. I'd be fair & let him visit whenever."


    If this is true, why would it bother you if he has joint custody? Each state is different, but where I live, the would automatically award joint custody with one parent the primary custodian. Since the child has been living with you, most likely you would be primary. 


    Fix the WIC, break up with him, and file for child support.  Who cares if he gets joint custody?  He is seeing the kid now, isn't he?

    mancosmomma

    Answer by mancosmomma at 10:07 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • You can transfer WIC... and i would if i was u.. but then i wouldnt worry about the lies and stuff if he cant take care of the baby the judge wouldnt let him have him
    miss_nevin

    Answer by miss_nevin at 11:05 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • First off I would transfer the WIC information. Then I would contact a lawyer/legal aid and see what the laws are in your area, what your rights are, and information on custody. I would also file for child support. Once know what all your (legal) rights are then I would suggest kicking his sorry ass to the curb and break up with him. Once you know what your (and his) legal rights are he won't be able to use child custody to blackmail you into staying with him. I wish you luck and hope everything works out!!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 3:13 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

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