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I need a break

Okay, here's the problem. I have my kids all the time except for when I'm at work. I'm just getting burnt out. I mean, I love my kids and wouldn't trade them for anything but I've been getting so short with them lately. My husband works second shift so he's no help. And on his days off he always has something more important to do. I don't have any family or friends who will help. They're all either self absorbed or I just plain wouldn't trust them with my kids. It's not like I don't help out with thiers. Recently I had my sister's kids for 4 days straight. Everytime I ask her to watch even one of my kids for more than an hour or so it seems like she has an excuse. It's not like I can stay up later to get some free time. I go to work super early and it's a struggle to get what very little sleep I do get. I'm just so frustrated with life, sorry that i'm whining. I really need a break. Any suggestions on how to get some me time?

Answer Question

Asked by gabenmikeysmom at 9:11 PM on Apr. 27, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 12 (713 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Leave them with your husband. Get up before him on his day off and leave. He will have no choice but to take care of them. Go rent a cheap hotel room and sleep, get a massage or do whatever you want. He needs to step up and give you a break and if he wont then give him no choice. He may get mad but he will get over it and they are his kids so he should take care of them. Who has them while your at work???? Maybe call off a day and do what you want. I know it sounds wrong but if thats the only way to get you time then do it.

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 9:14 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • We all need breaks so I feel for you. I am a SAHM so somtimes I just leave the house for 20minutes and it's wonderful. I kiss all the girls and my DH and walk out the door. (no matter who's screaming> LOL)

    Answer by lilnivy at 9:15 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • No idea what to tell you, my dh is deployed, Ive been alone with my kids every single day except for his 2 weeks of R&R for a year now. Its hard but you just have to keep reminding yourself htat they are only young once. One day they will be grown and gone and you will have all the time in the world.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • I have the same problem, I work all day (at home daycare) I watch 8 kids, including mine. When I get off, my man comes home, kicks back waits for his dinner! I cook, eat, do dishes, give DD a bath, read her a story, get a shower, maybe watch 30 minutes of tv...then I'm off to bed most nights! But I consider CM my me time...On the weekends when my DD's father is home, he is usually off hangiing out with his buddies. It sux. It is not fair. But I deal... I never understood why we have children together, but the mom's life is the only one that changes!!! Maybe once a month, I will get him to watch DD on a Saturday night, and go out with a few friends...but that is it!

    Answer by pamelajqs at 9:16 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Look in your area and see if any churches or park districts offer a "Parents Day Out" program.

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 9:19 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Tell your husband he needs to chip in. have a counseller's name nearby ready to call if he says no.
    You need you deserve your home time. I'm a stay at home mom for a long long time with kids still at home. I never gave an ultimatum to my husband to step up or step out the door. I should have and years later it's really even harder. My family and his were and are no help. They all say a man works and inside is the wife's job. Proud to say my son who's grown is way different from his father. Get him in counseling if he won't pitch in. If he won't go to counseling you go and figure out what to do now. He's getting away with like cause you're letting him. You are no less worthy of relaxation than he is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • My husband watches our youngest while I'm at work (he's second shift, I'm first) so we don't have to worry about who has him. The others are in school. I've considered just leaving one morning but I've never done it because... well, he has no idea what to do with all 3 kids. When I come home from work on his days off they are usually all in thier rooms because of "how bad the all were." And believe me, I know my kids are no angels but still, everytime? And for a matter of hours, not just time for everyone to cool down. I don't want to leave my kids and more that I have to, knowing that this is what will happen. About the help or get out thing, I've tried that. Even threw him out and filed for divorce once. I, of course, didn't follow through. We've done the counseling thing, didn't help. He's not a horrible guy, just... neglectful and stupid. Thanks for your suggestions, ladies.

    Answer by gabenmikeysmom at 9:36 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Leave the kids with your husband! It's not an option not to step up and be a Dad!

    Answer by psugal at 10:25 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Try and find a friend that you can trade with, She watches your kids for a day so you get some R&R and then you return the favor. We used to do it all the time. Or you can hire a baby sitter to come to the house, they are called mothers helpers and they will tend to the kids while you are there doing whatever you need to do be it housework, a long bath, or just to sleep in your bed for a few hours. My DD has done this for a few families.

    Answer by Vanessannd at 11:35 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

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