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Why is is okay for DH to behave this way but I shouldn't?

I would really be interested in a GOOD explanation as to why it is okay for men in general to disrespect their wives/girl friends? I mean, if you're a man, why bother saying, "I'm different" when you're not? Why is it unacceptable and rude of a WOMAN to text/receive pictures of naked men, but its perfectly okay for MEN to send/receive pictures of naked women? Double standard much? Why should the woman have to tell her friends not to send that because its disrespectful to her man if the man refuses to even tell his friends he doesn't like that?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Apr. 27, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I think it's because for generations and generations before right now and every right now, men have been placed on high and held in highest esteem by mothers who then allowed sons' wives to raise them. I should have told my husband partner from the beginning instead of believing he would.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Why is he aware of it? It is your phone, your private personal possession. Lock it when it isn't in your hand. End of discussion. Double standards suck...but the bigger issue is privacy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • I understand privacy, but there is NO reason why we shouldn't be able to look at each other's phone at any time and not be offended. By the way, I play games on his phone from time to time because my phone doesn't have any. I have no secrets from him on my phone, let alone anywhere else. I know and respect that he doesn't and wouldn't like nasty pics like that on MY phone and he told me he reciprocates. But he gets all pissy if I call him on it. That's what the problem is. It reminds me of watching the Tudors where the man is expected to do whatever the hell he wants but the women would be beheaded if they look cross eyed at a man...

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • If he is okay with receiving pornographic material, I wouldn't want anything to do with him because it would be denigrating to any women in my opinion and if he thinks so little of us woman to look at us in that context as sexual objects, then why bother with him.

    Answer by bebita at 9:49 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Uh, he's my husband of almost 11 years...not going to divorce him. Pregnant with baby #3 right now. He seems to have recently developed the mind set that he can do what he wants and I have to "abide by the rules."

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • There isn't a double standard...only the standard that you allow you. That kind of crap is NOT allowed in my house.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 9:54 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • its not ok, and my dh respects me and my decisions, just as i respect his. we are above petty arguing about dumb shit like that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Hell I thought it was under control until I had the misfortune to be on the damn phone playing solitaire when that crap popped up. I got griped out for it, too. Like I wasn't allowed to be upset by it, and I was told that his friends would think I controlled his life if he mentioned to them not to send that stuff. WTFever...

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • Bottom line it's not okay. Unfortunately some women tolerate such behavior from their men which is why some men do it. Personally I think the whole porn thing should not be tolerated at all. If he won't stop then leave him. If you won't leave him even though he doesn't stop then quit whining. If more women stopped tolerating such behavior more men would quit doing it. There are men out there who do tell their friends to quit sending them stuff like that, in some cases. For example my husband told his brother in law to quit sending him pics of naked women because he found it disrespectful to his sister. One of his friends sends him funny yet inappropriate stuff sometimes. That doesn't bother me so though because it's for laughs.

    Answer by Tickledtrauma at 11:19 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • its definitly NEVER ok for your man to recieve naked pics of other women, its basically cheating, and its not ok for the girl to recieve naked pics of guys either. that seems strange to me

    Answer by abbyl2490 at 12:56 AM on Apr. 28, 2009