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What do you do when an old flame looks you up but you're married?

My name is Jenna. I am married and have a beautiful baby boy. I love my husband and our new life together. However, an old flame looked me up and I don't know how I feel about that. Does having a friendly (platonic) relationship disrespect my hubby? Do people actually have solid just friends relationships with their former boyfriends? Not sure what my next move should be. NEED ADVICE!

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mrslovely1112

Asked by mrslovely1112 at 12:14 AM on Apr. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • It is disrespectful, I would steer clear...
    pamelajqs

    Answer by pamelajqs at 12:16 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • Just ask yourself how much you would like it if he had any kind of relationship with on of his ex's. If you'd be okay with it, and you think he would be okay with you keeping in touch with this guy and you know that there are absolutely NO feelings left than it shouldn't be a problem. Each relationship considered different things to be okay. However if you want to save youself any potential future mess, tell the guy you are married, ask him how hes been, and say nice talkin to ya. Then end it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:28 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • Probably not a good idea... to much room for jealousy. I would ignore him and enjoy your life.
    4theLoveofLovey

    Answer by 4theLoveofLovey at 12:31 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • i wouldn't even bother he probably doesn't even care that your married and he wouldn't miss the opportunity of sleeping with the minute he sense a problem with you and your hubby DON'T REUIN your MARRIAGE!
    cyn882

    Answer by cyn882 at 12:34 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • think of it this way, how would it make you feel if your husband started talking to an "old flame"
    Breezy1988

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 12:36 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • Why dont you ask your hubby how he would feel about it? Maybe introduce them... If your ex can be friends with you AND your hubby, then maybe it would be okay. but he (your ex) needs to make sure he knows and respects the fact that you are happily married.
    i honestly dont see a problem with talking to your ex as long as your hubby is okay with it, and you are secure enough in your marriage that you wont feel the need to do anything "stupid" lol
    your husband should appreciate your honesty and that you care what he thinks, so ask his opinion and take it into high consideration when deciding what to do. :)
    trystons_mommy

    Answer by trystons_mommy at 12:55 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • I keep in touch with a lot of old flames. However, if the ex was just interested in getting back together, I steer clear. And I dont try to hide that Im talking to an ex, I tell my DH. He might be jealous, but he knows nothing will ever happen from it. It is always important to stress that you are HAPPILY MARRIED (even if you just got in a fight and are pissed lol). If the ex is just interested in being friends, then he will keep talking to you.
    serioussifL

    Answer by serioussifL at 1:29 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • You feel flattered, flirt a little, let him know you're happily married and would love to be his friend.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:18 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • Keep it short and sweet....don't let it become a big deal, because that is a danger zone. I am sure thare are a few exceptions, but generally and statistically speaking, it is not likely to end well. If this is a big deal to you, then that is a danger signal in itself.
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 8:53 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • Talk to your husband about it. If he's okay with you saying hi and catching up, then okay. But if he's not, then don't try to have a friendship with this guy. I have old boyfriends contact me all the time but I tell my husband about it. He doesn't care. It isn't like I am talking to them daily on the phone.
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 9:55 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

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