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who do your in laws favor?

hen my dd was born my in laws would get her stuff occasionally and give her alot of attention when she was at their house. since their dd (my sil) had her baby, its all about her, they ignor my dd and shoo her away when my sils dd is around and for every 10 outfits my sils dd gets my dd gets one. i dont think its fair. they watch my sils dd on a daily basis so she can run around all over the planet doing what she wants. they also sometimes make me leave when they are fixing something in the house but my sil shows up there anyhow with her dd and they let her stay ane even watch her dd. they seem to favor my sil and her dd. i think they should love them both equally. and spend time with them both, equally. what do you think? should i confront them? what do you think i should do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:04 AM on Apr. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (19)
  • Have your husband confront them... and you just say nothing... He is the one to handle this.... family tends to take having their flaws shown by people they really love. GL!
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 10:09 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • My IL's favor my husband's sister and her family.

    What people "should" do and what people "do" do are often two different things.

    It's not worth worrying about. It's not worth bringing up. Later, the kids are going to see how they were treated different and THEN it's up to Grandma and Grandpa to work it out with them....just do what YOU know is right and don't stress out their screw ups.

    It'll come back to bite them in the end.
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 10:12 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • It's sad, but some families are just like that. My mom is guilty of this as well but with her, she favors my brother's daughter and my sisters 3 kids and with my son she is not nearly the same as she is with them. And so because of this, my son is not close to her at all and if she makes a comment about it I just tell her, "well what do you expect?". But this is my mom and they are your in-laws, big difference. I might try to talk to them but they might get really offended. On the other hand, maybe they really don'r realize how they are. Can your hubs talk to them? He is there other child so they should love his dd as much as his sister. Good luck
    GMR

    Answer by GMR at 10:13 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • My husbands parents want nothing to do with us or our children. We have never done anything to them, they just don't like that I married their son. It has been like this since we got engaged. His mom feels like I took her baby away. When we had our son, they came around a few times, then stopped. When we had our 2nd child I had to beg them to come see her in the hospital, for the sake of their sons feelings. Now that we had #3, they didn't come around for almost a week. (they live less than 5 miles away)
    They favor his sisters children, big time. In fact, that is why they are never able to come here or attend most of the events that we have.
    We have learned to deal with it, but it is frustrating. Confronting them did nothing but make it worse. We have decided that it is better for them to back away now when the kids don't know the difference than to walk out later in their lives.
    It is their loss.
    NewMommyin06

    Answer by NewMommyin06 at 10:16 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • what worries me, is that he did talk to them a few months back...but nothing changed. if anything it got worse. now if i have a problem he just tells me to do it. i also forgot, they used to be very close with my dd...sheyd pick her up and play with her and kiss her and hug her, now nothing, she gets upset because shes only 19 months and doesnt understand. thats what makes me REALLY mad.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • My IL's love my DH's 2 from a previous marrage. He has custody and they just adore them. Now mine from my previous marrage doesn't get any attention from them, nor does he get material things either. Our DD that we had together is talked to every once in a while, but nothing special. The only reason it's so hard is because we live here!! UGH!!!! lol
    All I can do is shelter my DS from the hatefulness of them and pray that I am doing enough and he wont hate me when he's older!!
    Peanut_Farley

    Answer by Peanut_Farley at 10:18 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • Well if your hubby talked to them and it didn't work and they just ignore your daughter anyways... Then stop taking her to see them and having anything to do with them. And if they ask why you don't bring her around anymore or why you ignore us.... just tell them that you figured since they ignored your daughter and you for so long, that you didn't think they would notice.

    what worries me, is that he did talk to them a few months back...but nothing changed. if anything it got worse. now if i have a problem he just tells me to do it. i also forgot, they used to be very close with my dd...sheyd pick her up and play with her and kiss her and hug her, now nothing, she gets upset because shes only 19 months and doesnt understand. thats what makes me REALLY mad.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 10:24 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • I would just distance myself. Do things with your family, nothing made my Mom more crazy when my sister would take her kids to her mil's and not over to our Moms... My sister knew it to but she had to let the other grandma have time with the kids too... Anyway, I would just stay away from them, then your Hubby can do the explaining, maybe that will help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • have your husband confront them. i have a feeling my in laws are going to be the same way when my little girl gets here.
    BekaBug

    Answer by BekaBug at 11:00 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • My mom favors my sons more, but it's because she sees them more often and has bonded more closely with them.
    Mangy_Momma

    Answer by Mangy_Momma at 11:10 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

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