Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Does anyone have experiance with alcoholics?

Im @ the university hospital about to bring my father in law home , he drank and didnt eat for days and we found him passed out and bleeding from the head , called 911 and they took him to the hospital , this is one of about 4 or 5 times this happend in the last couple years , each time it takes him longer to recover , we dont get the beer for him he finds his own way to get it , well afew days ago he said hes never drinking again but this morning he said he doesnt want to drink , sounds to me like hes already got the thirst , I told him then dont drink , your not a victim you do it to yourself , he got mad , Now he is living with us cause he cant live alone , the doc said if we hadnt found him he wouldve died there on the floor feet from his oxygen , every time he comes home from the hospital he does good for a week then one leads to two many , help , we love this ol man and need advice on how to handel him , and help him

Answer Question
 
melissa33181

Asked by melissa33181 at 11:21 AM on Apr. 28, 2009 in Health

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I would contact an AA meeting in your area-there are tons every where, and ask if they have any resources that can help him and you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • I think Al-Anon has a website. Its a support group for friends and family of alchaholics, and its a good place. The website might be able to get you in touch with groups in your area, and you can learn how to deal with him. You're right, though. He's doing it to himself, so don't treat him like its something other than that. There is only so much sympathy you can give before it gets old.
    ajguinn

    Answer by ajguinn at 11:26 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • You can't make someone who has the signs of addiction go to meetings though, they have to want too..but if you don't put your foot down and moniter his behavior he will kill himself. My grandfather did the same thing.. and he did die of mal-nutrition I was only 13yrs old but it was sooo sad he refused to eat anything.. then my grandmother went on to have a stroke from alcohol and almost died, even knowing this when she recovered enough she still wanted to drink..its and addiction that never leaves them, but they have to WANT to fight it, cause no one can fight it for them! Do so research and talk to his doctor, write down all your questions and have a meeting.. good luck hun..
    Mommy2seven

    Answer by Mommy2seven at 11:42 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • I went through the same thing with my FIL. Nothing ever stopped his drinking. Even after he had throat and mouth cancer (they removed part of his jaw and half his tongue) he still kept drinking. He had a feeding tube until he could learn how to swallow again. He put liquor in the tube. He came to stay with us for a while after the surgery but ended up leaving to live on his own again when we tried to make him stop drinking.


    He never learned to swallow again. Drank himself to death through his feeding tube. He was 54 years old. When we went to clean out his house (in Florida, we lived in Georgia during this whole time) we were shocked to find that his bed and the carpet around it were covered in cigarette burns. Long burns (!)  where he had passed out and the cigarette continued to smolder after it hit the carpet or bed spread. I don't know how he didn't manage to burn the house down.

    VeronicaLee

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 11:51 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • "My grandfather did the same thing.. and he did die of mal-nutrition I was only 13yrs old but it was sooo sad he refused to eat anything"


    my FIL did the SAME thing! He was SO skinny when he passed away!


    One other thing that just came to mind... One of the last times I spent time with Bill, he really tried to go without drinking. He got really sick! Started throwing up, shaking, and breaking out in a sweat! We had to give him a drink.


    Alcohol can be the most dangerous thing to come off of. For some people they have to be weaned off. If they don't wean off it, the withdrawl can kill them. Weaning off alcohol should be done in a clinical like setting where it is monitored all the time.

    VeronicaLee

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 11:57 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • Its very hard to watch someone you love and care about to this to themselves. My mother died a week after my sons birth of liver disease as a result of alcoholism.

    Whereas my mother would tell us she was an alcoholic to get us off her back, your father in law sounds like he wants help and wants to stop just doesnt know how.

    He needs a LOT of support, no judgements - i.e. its his own fault etc - just love and help toi get through it. I wish my mum wanted help so I could have helped her but like someone else said you cant force it. I would sit down and ask him does he want help and if so whether he would allow you to sort it out for him so he can get support. Then I would do everything in my power to help him.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 11:58 AM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • My bf is an alcoholic, it's a horrible disease. The physical symptoms are bad, but the emotional pain it causes are worse. It is very dangerous to stop drinking suddenly. People can have convultions, dilusions, hallusinations, and even heart attack.

    In some areas there is a program called IOP (Intensive Out Patient or partial hospitalization) It is a cognitive behavior model and even if someone isnt ready to stop drinking they can benefit from the understanding the class offers in a nonjudgemental way. If he is against getting total hospitalization, this is a possible option.
    It is important for you and other family/ friends to realize that the ultimate decision will be up to him, and is in no way, shape or form, your fault!!!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Health
spotting

Next question overall (Trying to Conceive)
Need help with BBT and OPK......