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How do u handle a 12 year old boy who is the middle child and does EVERYTHING he possibly can to irritate me??

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iamamotherof3

Asked by iamamotherof3 at 5:42 PM on Apr. 28, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (6)
  • Ignore him when he is being irritating. Don't acknowledge the behavior. When he is being "good" praise him. Give him positive attention and maybe he won't act so irritating.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:37 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • IDK, let me know what works! My middle kiddo is ADHD. He is on medication for it, therefor I am still sane. He started within the last year with the 'she (his sister) makes me feel like I'm not part of this family anymore!!!!'. Today it was just 'I don't feel like part of the family'. It bothered me at first, but I know that no one is making him feel that way. We were out today, and I tried to play with him, he was on the swing. He laughed at first, then started screaming at me. So I said we were going home. He cried the whole way home. Then he started saying he didn't feel yada yada yada. I stopped the truck, we were on our street, put it in park, and yelled at him that I will not put up with him treating me like crap, and saying what he was saying. A few hours later he came to me crying and said he's sorry. We made up. But he'll do it again. Buy stock in hair color! If you don't have any gray's yet, they are a comin!!
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 11:49 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • I agree with the first post...you should ignore him when he's being irritating. Sounds a little like a vicious cycle going on...he is annoying so everyone tries to avoid him, so he's craving attention and even negative attention is better than none to him, so he does whatever it takes to get you to notice him. Try to spend a little time each day giving him your undivided attention, even if it's just for a few minutes. Have a conversation and really listen to him. Then when you're trying to do something and he's bothering you, let him know that it's inappropriate - he's a big boy and perfectly able to understand what he's doing wrong and why you won't accept it. Maybe he's bored also...does he like to read? Get him some books on a topic that interests him, see if that helps.
    napoli

    Answer by napoli at 10:53 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • there is somebody in your child school can help you in human resource
    marybe

    Answer by marybe at 11:08 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Depends on what he is doing. I would talk to him about being disrespectful of others. When we irritate others, we are being selfish and rude. No one wants to be around people like that. I would also tell him that from now on, there would be dire consequences for such behavior. I would praise him for good behavior (we parents tend to forget to do that-- hugs are a great reward for good behavior, even for a 12 year old boy). I would take away privileges and toys for each time he starts to irritate anyone again. X-box, action figures, bat and ball, etc., would eventually all leave his room and end up in a storage shed in a box covered by heavy things. If he continues to be disrespectful, you can strip his room of everything except a mattress, blanket, and two pairs of clothes. Good behavior earns it back, one item at a time. Sounds extreme, I know, but it works. Start by being reasonable, if it doesn't work, go to the extreme.
    singnstitch

    Answer by singnstitch at 4:50 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Ignore his behavior when he is being "irritating" and acting up. Then do something special thats just the 2 of you. He's irritating you to get attention.
    kgck_momma

    Answer by kgck_momma at 2:23 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

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