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Is chivalry dead?

My daugther was asked to senior prom, the tickets are going on sell and he is expecting her to pay. Unfortunately, with my small income and the towering mountain of bills I simply cannot give her the money (she no longer has a job). I understand that the young man does not have a job either but come on, I always thought the rule was if a young man asks a girl to be his date, he pays. Am i wrong? I feel bad that now she cant go and she now feels embarrassed that she must explain to this young man that she simply cant afford it and she feels pretty stupid that she just assumed that since he asked her, he would pay. If I could I would love to buy it for her but I simply cant. She doesnt know what to tell him.

I always thought that paying for the date was something the guy did. When did that go out the window? And when did it become acceptable to honk in the driveway when taking her out on a date? (this I have seen happen) Cont

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Apr. 28, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (9)
  • guys suck

    Answer by Kaytlynsmommy at 6:10 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • I guess that in these times of equality that's the way it is. Could she get work and get enough money to be able to go? Babysitting every weekend? or work at a fast food place after school and on weekends? It is sad that she won't be able to go.

    Answer by Bmat at 6:11 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • It seems like young men nowadays just are not gentlemen. (And this comes from more than not paying the bill but like the honking in the driveway thing, etc)

    Will you teach your son to be a gentleman? To open doors, or to offer to pay for the date, or to present the young lady with flowers on the first date? I plan on teaching my son these things. Maybe im just old fashioned (which is funny considering I am quite young).

    Will you teach your girls to expect only the best of manners from a young man?


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • Bmat--tickets are on sale for only this week. There is no way she would be able to come up with the money.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:12 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • well the honk iv seen but the guy has to pay or maby give her a heads up and say hey look can we both afford this together? but everytime i went out with my husband when we were dating he would beeep then i ran out but he always paid unless my mom would sometimes make him comeinside lol but he paid and thats how it should be

    Answer by chukuku at 6:12 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • Proms can get very expensive. The kids that we know split the costs. This is not about chivalry, this is about economics and fairness. Do you really want your daughter to think that men should pay her expeneses? Men and women should be equal partners; this is how we are raising our daughter.

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:15 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • I'm so glad to read you will teach your son the old-fashioned manners like we plan to. My son is two and if I ever hear he has sat in his car and honked for a girl, he'll be sitting on a bike!

    I believe boys learn from watching their dad. If the dad is the type to open your door, pull your chair out, help you into your coat, hold the door for other people (not just women!), say please and thank you, help around the house, never call you names and speaks to you respectfully....half the battle is won!

    I'm sorry your daughter was placed in this position. Many young men are afraid to be "the man" these days because they get yelled at for being sexist. Others are glad to let the woman pay and happy they don't have to treat them any better than the guys.

    She needs to be honest and just tell the guy she thought since he asked her, he would pay. If he laughs at her....he's not the guy for her to date anyway.

    Answer by timelessglass at 6:19 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • If the guy asked then he should be paying. That is what I am teaching my son. If they can't afford it, then they don't go. I know it will suck missing out on prom but it happens to more people then you realize.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:44 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • My son, just last year, went to two proms, one for his school, and one for his gf's school, he paid both times. I would expect him to. Maybe not for regular Sat. night dates, but certainly for prom!

    Answer by robinann5 at 10:17 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

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