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DD AND DH...hmmm

I have a 7yr dd from another relationship. My dh is dd's step-dad...for the most part when dh and I sleep we leave the door open. Unless we are taking care of business, and then we shut the door and lock it. dd always wakes me up in the morning to help her get ready for school. My dh sleeps with basketball shorts on...and usually has a sheet or blanket over him. dd has laid in bed with us and watched movies or tv from time to time. This morning dh had ummm..."Morning wood" and didn't have a sheet over him. He had his shorts on but in basketball shorts...u could see...I am not sure if dd saw it or not...she woke me up and I got up with her. I didn't notice it till I went back in the room to get something, I covered dh. He actually rolled over to his side after I covered him But I am not sure if this is alright? dd hasn't said anything, that she saw it or asked about it. I am not sure what to do here?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on Apr. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I wouldn't worry about it unless she brings it up. I guess I must be too open with my son, because I do NOT freak out or make a big deal out of him seeing me naked or any body part. I want my son to have a healthy body image and not be ashamed of his body. Your husband was sleeping and cannot stay awake all the time and make sure he is 100% covered up at all times. It's not like they were in bed together. I really wouldn't worry,she will be fine. If she asks just tell her that when males wake up in the morning and have to pee, their penis gets hard. It happens to little boys, big boys and adult boys. You tell her what she needs to know at the time, according to her age. If she doesn't say anything, leave it be.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:34 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • since shes only 7 i personally probably wouldn't mention it unless she brings it up. she may have seen it before, or she may have just not noticed. as for is it an issue for her to see it, i walked in on my parents having sex, walked in on my dad in the bathroom when he didn't shut the door all the way. it happens, if she has questions answer them best you can if not than just let it be.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 7:13 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • honey, dont listen to the anon above me. unless everyone forgot, this is what the website is supposed to be about-helping each other. i agree with the first post. if she asks, then answer as you see fit. she was focused on waking mom up not looking at his wood (lol). otherwise, dont worry about it until it comes up. :)
    SThompson21

    Answer by SThompson21 at 7:16 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • don't bring it up unless she does. then you can just let her know that thats what happens when guys sleep or however you want to put it. I'm sure she didn't notice or think anything of it.
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 7:17 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • I remarried when my daughter was 8. My dh is a great guy and we are very natural. I'd say just dont make an issue if it. There was a movie with diane Keaton a long time ago where the guy actually let the girl see it, now that would be a different story...
    writeon

    Answer by writeon at 7:20 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • I don't know call me old fashion but I think that there could be some serious boundaries issues here. DH should be extra careful not to even give the impression of any wrong doing. There is a child involved and biological dd or not, he should be aware of his private parts. If your dd thinks it is normal to claim on bed with a guy with a woody and you say nothing about is like if you are giving your blessings. I hope this guy is honest and not bad ill because if he was it sounds to me that you haven't set boundaries as your body, keep it cover and be extra careful of what my dd is exposed to. that is just my opinion but the fact that you posted tells me that you are a concern parent and you are thinking of your dd interest first. I advice you to set some rules with DH like wear sleeping pants or something. We can be in the couch together while we are all dressed.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 7:27 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • I think you misunderstood (post above) dd was not laying in bed with us when dh had a woody. I was just stating that dd has in the past laid in bed with us NOT while dh has a woody! But my concern was dd seeing it. I know she has seen "a Morning woody before" with her bio dad...he told me that she kicked it! LOL that was like 2 or 3 years ago...Dh was in shorts basketball shorts. So it's not like dh was in his boxer or underwear. DH does cover up when dd is around. As covered up as any other man gets...when relaxing at home...there are some days when it's hot and dh sits in his basketball shorts...and no shirt...and other days he wears his basketball shorts with a t-shirt. I see nothing wrong with dh not wearing a t-shirt around dd...But I was thinking about it this morning and thought "what if dd did see that?"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:36 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • I wouldn't bring it up unless she does. I also disagree with bebita, for the most part. He was sleeping, and he was clothed. Unless he's going to stay awake 24/7, he cannot control what his private parts do like that. It's not like he looked at your daughter, and boom there it went. Unless you have concerns that he would/is doing something (which as far as I can tell, you don't), I would just leave the issue alone. If she brings it up, then you could just explain that this happens to men sometimes when they sleep (in fact, I read or maybe was told by an old boyfriend that, at least in young boys, this can happen b/c they need to pee, so you could even say that) and that she should look away and ignore it.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:27 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • I wouldn't mention it unless she did. Then if she did, just say it's natural and don't make a big deal out of it.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 9:44 PM on Apr. 28, 2009